


Communications Line

by MageOfCole



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: ARC troopers - Freeform, Agender Rys (Star Wars), Asexual CC-1010 | Fox, Asexual CC-3636 | Wolffe, BAMF CC-2224 | Cody, Background Blyla, Background Codywan, Background Relationships, Brothers, Canon Compliant?, Canonical Character Death, Chatlogs, Clone Wars, Clones, Crack Treated Seriously, Dad! Alpha-17, Decommissioning, Demiboy CC-2224 | Cody, Demigirl Wooley (Star Wars), Episode: s01e06 Downfall of a Droid, Force Sensitive CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, Force Sensitive Clones, Gen, Genderfluid CT-21-0408 | Echo, Grief/Mourning, Group chat, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Humor, Kamino is horrible!!, Kamino is terrible!!, LGBTQ+ Clone Troopers, Let The Clones Say Fuck, Listen They Can't All Be Cis, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Siblings, Some angst, Trans Blitz (Star Wars), Trans CC-1004 | Gree, Trans Clone Troopers, assholes, background Vox, chaotic energy, chat fic, clone commanders, clone-centric, clones deserve better, fuck palpatine, no beta we die like clone troopers, original clone character(s) - Freeform, shit post
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:15:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24780691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MageOfCole/pseuds/MageOfCole
Summary: {Communications line opened…}[CC-1010opened COMMLINE]CC-1010:I would like to remind everyone that communication lines are meant to remain strictly professional, please pass this on to your troopsCC-1010:Communication lines must be used in accordance to regulations, and not for recreational use(Chapters have been reordered, Chapters 8-10 are new)
Comments: 334
Kudos: 679
Collections: Starwarschats





	1. Commanders: Active. Status: Assholes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Touch Tone Telephone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24120004) by [Crab_Lad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crab_Lad/pseuds/Crab_Lad). 
  * Inspired by [On your A.M Radio](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24517519) by [Crab_Lad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crab_Lad/pseuds/Crab_Lad). 
  * Inspired by [torrent texts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24718276) by [Forestgreengirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forestgreengirl/pseuds/Forestgreengirl). 
  * Inspired by [Command Clones Commentary](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23197759) by [Forestgreengirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forestgreengirl/pseuds/Forestgreengirl). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CC-1010/Foxtrot/FoxyMama/Foxed/GlorifiedDroid: Fox  
> CC-3636/CDR Wolffe/All Bite/Feral Dog: Wolffe  
> CC-2224/CDR Cody/Kote/Cod-E: Cody  
> CC-5052/CDR Bly/BLYTE/The B-Squad: Bly  
> CC-3120/Sneaky Sneaky: Blackout  
> Pond/PonderingLife/WinduWatcher: Ponds  
> Green: Gree  
> swimmin with the fishes: Monnk  
> Odd One Out: Oddball  
> Rose: Thorn  
> ThiredOfYourShit: Thire  
> Jettison: Jett  
> Fil Me Up: Fil  
> Pebble: Stone  
> doomed: Doom  
> NeYO!: Neyo

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[** ** _CC-1010_ ** **opened COMMLINE]**

 **CC-1010:** I would like to remind everyone that communication lines are meant to remain strictly professional, please pass this on to your troops

 **CC-1010:** Communication lines must be used in accordance to regulations, and not for recreational use

 **[** **_CC-3636_ ** **changed their handle to** **_CDR Wolffe_ ** **]**

 **CDR Wolffe:** Of course

 **CDR Wolffe:** We wouldn’t want to ignore regulations after all

 **[** **_CC-2224_ ** **changed their handle to** **_CDR Cody_ ** **]**

 **CDR Cody:** Regulations are very important, we must set a good example for the troopers

 **[** **_CC-5052_ ** **changed their handle to** **_CDR Bly_ ** **]**

 **CDR Bly:** Regulations must be followed

 **[** **_CC-3120_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Sneaky Sneaky_ ** **]**

 **Sneaky Sneaky:** Alright boys, we’re in the clear, all surveillance codes have been removed

 **Sneaky Sneaky:** Time to party

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: When The Generals Are Away The Commanders Will Play]**

**[ACTIVE: Kote, All Bite, Foxtrot, Pond, BLYTE, Green]**

**BLYTE:** SO

 **BLYTE:** JUST MET MY GENERAL

 **BLYTE:** AND UH-

 **BLYTE:** HOLOS?

 **BLYTE:** Didn’t do Twi’Leks justice

 **Kote:** You were assigned to the 327th right? Star Corps?

 **Kote:** oh heck GTG sry vode

 **Kote:** Alpha-17 is back

 **[** ** _Kote_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Foxtrot:** That would be… General Aayla Secura

 **BLYTE:** SHE WEARS??? VERY,,, SMALL,,,,, LEATHER CLOTHES?????

 **BLYTE:** UH - YEah

 **All Bite:** poor bly lmao

 **All Bite:** how’s puberty treating you vod’ika?

 **BLYTE:** SHE’S WEARING A HALTER TOP?!?!?!! WITH ONE SLEEVE?!?!?!?!?!

 **Green:** That doesn’t sound very efficient

 **Pond:** You can’t talk Gree, Gen Luminara wears a floor-length skirt, and so does her Shiney

 **All Bite:** im pretty sure that Jedi Shinies are called Padawans

 **Green:** I don’t know, it seems to work for them?

 **Green:** Though I wish Commander Offee would at least agree to a little armour

 **BLYTE:** GENERAL SECURA DOESN’T EVEN WEAR A SHIRT?!?!!?

 **[** ** _swimmin with the fishes_ ** **is Active]**

 **swimmin with the fishes:** don’t even get me started on Generals Who Need To Put Clothes On

 **swimmin with the fishes:** General Fisto somehow always ends the battle in nothing but his underwear?

 **swimmin with the fishes:** i thought Jetii were supposed to be some sort of monk people?

 **swimmin with the fishes:** You know: reserved, pious, actually dressed?

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Command Squad Kids]**

**[ACTIVE: BLYTE, Foxtrot, Pond, Sneaky Sneaky, Odd One Out, All Bite]**

**Odd One Out:** dar to Cmmdr Cody who’s stuck with the Alphas

 **Odd One Out:** He’s not dead, I just feel bad for him

 **All Bite:** dar

 **Foxtrot:** dar

 **Pond:** dar

 **Sneaky Sneaky:** dar

 **BLYTE:** dar

 **BLYTE:** Never thought I’d feel bad for 17’s favourite

 **BLYTE:** but the poor guy got chosen for EVEN MORE TRAINING somehow?

 **All Bite:** Kote’s the kind of little shit that enjoys all the training

 **BLYTE:** ARC training was INTENSE - why would he want more?????

 **Pond:** Kot’ika’s a perfectionist

 **All Bite:** He’s also a stubborn bastard

 **Foxtrot:** I, for one, am glad that I don’t have to spar with him any more

 **Foxtrot:** My leg hasn’t been the same since

 **BLYTE:** I’m still impressed by the time he full-out bodily tackled Skirata

 **Sneaky Sneaky:** one (1) fear

 **Odd One Out:** …

 **Odd One Out:** I have never been more glad that I was funneled into piloting

 **All Bite:** Kote’s always been feral

 **Foxtrot:** Says the idiot who took a chunk out of Priest’s arm during training

 **All Bite:** He was picking on Cody, only we’re allowed to pick on Cody

 **Pond:** Priest deserved it

 **BLYTE:** He kind of did

 **Foxtrot:** That wasn’t up for debate, Priest deserved that and worse, but you could have gotten in trouble

 **Foxtrot:** He could have had you decommissioned

 **All Bite:** eh

 **All Bite:** Fett thought he deserved it too and I’m still here aren’t I?

 **All Bite:** Besides, we all know you were the one who pushed him off the landing pad

 **Foxtrot:** He deserved it

 **Foxtrot:** Also, there’s no proof that I was the one who did it

 **Pond:** We were all there Fox

 **BLYTE:** We saw you do it Fox

 **Sneaky Sneaky:** I’m glad I never had to train with you mad bastards

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Command Squad Kids]**

**[ACTIVE: PonderingLife, FoxyMama, Rose, ThiredOfYourShit, Jettison, Fil Me Up]**

**PonderingLife:** General Windu has an eight pack

 **Fil Me Up:** w

 **Fil Me Up:** what the kriff?

 **Jettison:** dar

 **Rose:** Did

 **Rose:** Did you kriff General Windu?

 **PonderingLife:** No, but I kind of wish I had?

 **PonderingLife:** I just witnessed my general take down a good thousand clankers with his bare hands? Like, literally tear them to shreds

 **PonderingLife:** And then he had to take his tunics off because he literally tore through them with his own muscles

 **Jettison:** HOT DAMN

 **ThiredOfYourShit:** sounds hot

 **PonderingLife:** It was

 **PonderingLife:** I may or may not need to rec new blacks

 **[** **_PonderingLife_ ** **changed their handle to** **_WinduWatcher_ ** **]**

 **FoxyMama:** urg

 **FoxyMama:** I did not want to see this

 **FoxyMama:** Disgusting

 **FoxyMama:** I’m glad I’m on Coruscant and don’t have to deal with this shit

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Commanders Need Caf]**

**[ACTIVE: Foxed, ThiredOfYourShit, Rose, Pebble]**

**[** **_Foxed_ ** **changed their handle to** **_GlorifiedDroid_ ** **]**

 **GlorifiedDroid:** I take it back

 **GlorifiedDroid:** Someone else can have Coruscant I don’t want it

 **Rose:** Commander please

 **Rose:** Don’t leave us alone with these monsters

 **ThiredOfYourShit:** If you leave you’ll make the Shinies cry

 **Pebble:** If you leave us alone with the Senate you’ll make Thorn cry and none of us want to deal with that

 **GlorifiedDroid:** If I never see the Chancellor’s slimy face again it’ll be too soon

 **GlorifiedDroid:** AND I AM NOT HERE FOR SENATORS TO FONDLE!

 **GlorifiedDroid:** I am a trained ARC trooper, one of the best CC-Classers available - I should be allowed to throw the next being who touches me out a Fett damned window

 **ThiredOfYourShit:** But we’re not people! :D

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: PLEaSE FOR THE LOVE OF FORCE GIVE US MORE CAF]**

**[ACTIVE: doomed, Feral Dog, The B-Squad, NeYO!, Cod-E]**

**The B-Squad:** SOS

 **The B-Squad:** SOS SEND HELP

 **doomed:** ?????

 **Cod-E:** uh - you okay there Bly?

 **The B-Squad:** NO

 **The B-Squad:** I AM NOT OKAY

 **The B-Squad:** I JUST GOT SUPPLEXED

 **The B-Squad:** BY MY GNERAL

 **Cod-E:** lmao

 **Feral Dog:** lmao

 **doomed:** oh? Dar

 **Feral Dog:** dar

 **Cod-E:** dar

 **NeYO!:** dar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this me writing a chatfic to try to fight off my writer's block?  
> yes  
> yes it is


	2. Alpha-17's ARC Babies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alpha-17/Dad-17: Alpha-17  
> CC-2224/Kote/Mir'Sheb: Cody  
> CC-2019/Bolt: Colt  
> CC-2103/Zipzap: Blitz  
> CC-2741/CHAOS: Havoc  
> CT-7567/Rex/Baby: Rex  
> CT-6774/Keel: Keeli

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[Alpha-17 opened COMMLINE]**

**[COMMLINE: Advanced Recon Commando Trainee Squad 17]**

**[ACTIVE: Alpha-17, CC-2224, CC-2019, CC-2103, CC-2741, CT-7567, CT-6774]**

**Alpha-17:** As I said earlier, welcome to ARC training troopers, make yourselves comfortable now because you’ll never feel so again. You six are a squad now and you answer to me. Rules are simple; we fight together. We're Vode - shoulder-to-shoulder on those front lines, united as one.

 **Alpha-17:** This commline is just for Squad 17, it’s scrambled and classified; for the sake of confidentiality no one but us will see these logs.

 **Alpha-17:** Welcome to hell Shinies

 **[** **_Alpha-17_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **[** **_CC-2224_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Kote_ ** **]**

 **Kote:** CC-2224, CC-Batch A-5.B, Cody, he/him or they/them, nice to meet you vode

 **[** **_CC-2019_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Bolt_ ** **]**

 **Bolt:** CC-2019, CC-Batch C-1.A, Colt, he/him

 **[** **_CC-2103_ ** **changed their handle to** **_ZipZap_ ** **]**

 **ZipZap:** CC-2103, also of C-1.A, Blitz, she/her

 **[** **_CC-2741_ ** **changed their handle to** **_CHAOS_ ** **]**

 **CHAOS:** CC-2741, C-1.B, Havoc, he/him

 **[** **_CT-6774_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Keel_ ** **]**

 **Keel:** CT-6774, CT-Batch 29.67.12, Keeli, he/him

 **[** **_CT-7567_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Rex_ ** **]**

 **Rex:** CT-7567, 29.67.12, Rex, he/him

 **Keel:** Nice to meet you too, sir!

 **Kote:** You heard Alpha; we’re vode here - a squad, there’s no ranks, just ARC-hopefuls

 **Kote:** I may be senior trainee and squad leader, but off the field I don’t want that to get between us

 **Kote:** Congratulations on making it to ARC, vod’ike

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Advanced Recon Commando Trainee Squad 17]**

**[ACTIVE: Kote, Bolt, ZipZap, CHAOS, Keel, Rex]**

**Keel:** Okay, I’m curious

 **Keel:** Names?

 **Keel:** where’d they come from?

 **ZipZap:** I just liked blitz tactics, not very interesting, sorry vod’ika

 **Bolt:** I actually started with Bolt, but trainers kept mixing Blitz and I up so I changed it to Colt

 **ZipZap:** It was funny though, vod

 **Bolt:** Not when I was getting in trouble for your shit

 **CHAOS:** I blew up too many training droids, you know - causing havoc

 **ZipZap:** I remember that - good times, I’m pretty sure you made Lama Su cry

 **Bolt:** I don’t think Lama Su is capable of feeling any emotion but contempt

 **Rex:** i

 **Rex:** i’m grudgingly impressed

 **Rex:** What about you, Cody?

 **Kote:** Haat, Ijaa, Haa'it

 **Kote:** Truth, Honour, Vision - Fett taught us the saying, but he added to it

 **Kote:** Haat, Ijaa, Haa'it, Kote

 **Kote:** Truth, Honour, Vision, Glory

 **Keel:** that’s uh

 **Bolt:** Ambitious

 **Kote:** It felt like a good code to live by

 **ZipZap:** How did Kote become Cody?

 **Kote:** Priest threatened to throw me off the landing dock and let me drown, apparently it offended his delicate sensibilities that I, a lowly clone, would dare to give myself such a name

 **Rex:** t

 **Rex:** that sucks

 **Kote:** eh

 **Kote:** He ended up mysteriously falling into the ocean himself, it doesn’t really bother me anymore, I use Cody to spite him

 **Kote:** He twitches every time

 **CHAOS:** Nice

* * *

  
  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Advanced Recon Commando Trainee Squad 17]**

**[ACTIVE: Keel, Kote]**

**[** **_Keel_ ** **changed** **_Rex_ ** **’s handle to** **_Baby_ ** **]**

 **Kote:** haha

 **[** **_Kote_ ** **changed COMMLINE handle to** **_Ori’vode and Baby, Squad 17_ ** **]**

 **Keel:** LMFAO

 **Keel:** anyways

 **Keel:** how do you and Rexy know each other? You two have too many inside jokes to have only just met each other

 **Kote:** Rex hasn’t told you?

 **Keel:** He’s a secretive little mir’sheb

 **Kote:** Well then

 **Kote:** I don’t think I will

 **Keel:** You

 **Keel:** are also a secretive little mir’sheb

 **[** **_Keel_ ** **changed** **_Kote_ ** **’s handle to** **_Mir’Sheb_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Alpha-17_ ** **is Active]**

 **Alpha-17:** GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

 **[** **_Alpha-17_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **[** **_Mir’Sheb_ ** **changed** **_Alpha-17_ ** **’s handle to** **_Buir-17_ ** **]**

 **Keel:** BALLS OF FUCKING STEEL

* * *

  
  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Ori’vode and Baby, Squad 17]**

**[ACTIVE: Baby]**

**Baby:** WHO THE FUCK CHANGED MY NAME

 **Baby:** AND WHY CAN’T I CHANGE IT BACK?!?!?!

 **[** **_Buir-17_ ** **is Active]**

 **Buir-17:** Suck it up baby

* * *

  
  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Ori’vode and Baby, Squad 17]**

**[ACTIVE: Buir-17, Mir’Sheb, Bolt, ZipZap, CHAOS, Keel, Baby]**

**Buir-17:** Alright, which one of you little shits rigged Priest’s room

 **CHAOS:** I did

 **Buir-17:** Good work kid, that was some pretty ingenious slicing

 **CHAOS:** Thanks Buir!

 **Buir-17:** You’re on KP trainee - next time, don’t admit to it and keep your mouth shut

 **Buir-17:** Don’t give anyone reason to suspect you

 **CHAOS:** Yessir!

 **[** **_Buir-17_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Baby:** stars

 **Baby:** I thought you were about to get yourself decommissioned

 **CHAOS:** They’re not going to decommission me, I’m too good at what I do

 **Bolt:** And General Ti has been cracking down on decommissions. There hasn’t been one since she stepped foot onto the planet

 **ZipZap:** I mean, the longnecks might be slipping a few past her, but she’s been trying to stop them

 **Keel:** Really?

 **Baby:** t

 **Baby:** that’s good

 **[** **_Baby_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Keel:** ah shit

 **[** **_Keel_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **[** **_Mir’Sheb_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **CHAOS:** I wonder what that’s about

 **Bolt:** Havoc, what colour is Rex’s hair?

 **CHAOS:** Oh

 **CHAOS:** I honestly forgot, he keeps it so short it’s easy to miss

 **Zipzap:** I’m pretty sure that’s the exact reason why he keeps it short

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Ori’vode and Baby, Squad 17]**

**[ACTIVE: Buir-17, Mir’Sheb, Bolt, ZipZap, CHAOS, Keel, Baby]**

**Buir-17:** Congratulations troopers, on making it through ARC training in one piece, keep an eye on your commlines and you’ll be receiving your assignments

 **Buir-17:** K'oyacyi vode!

 **Mir’Sheb:** Oya!

 **ZipZap:** Oya!

 **Bolt:** OYA!

 **CHAOS:** OYA!!

 **Keep:** Oya!

 **Baby:** oya!


	3. Commander and the 212th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CC-2224/Cody/PIECE OF SHIT: Cody  
> CC-2237/Davijaan: Oddball  
> CC-5576-39/Commando Gregor/Capmando: Gregor  
> ARC-7567/Lt Rex/CAPTAIN Rex: Rex  
> ARC-77/Captain Fordo: Fordo  
> ARC-82/Stecster: Stec  
> ARC-79/Lt Rocket: Unidentified ARC Lieutenant  
> ARC-5215/Heavy Gunner Guy: Unidentified ARC Heavy Gunner  
> ARC-3189/Unidentified ARC Trooper: Unidentified ARC Trooper  
> ARC-6122/Unidentified ARC Pilot: Unidentified ARC Pilot  
> CT-1421/Got Wax?: Waxer  
> CT-2232/Barley Boy: Barlex  
> CT-7324/CRYStal Clear Sir: Crys  
> CT-4512/Eyeballin: Eyeball  
> CT-8112/Pacemaker: Pace  
> Hardboil'd: Boil  
> Go Long(shot): Longshot  
> ShinyBaby13/Threep: Threepwood  
> ShinyBaby95/Trapped: Trapper  
> The Reedy One: Reed  
> ShiftingGear: Gearshift  
> Kale: Cale

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[CC-2224 opened COMMLINE]**

**[COMMLINE: 212th Attack Battalion Command]**

**[ACTIVE: CC-2224, CC-2237, CC-5576-39, ARC-7567, ARC-77, ARC-82, ARC-79, ARC-5215, ARC-3189, ARC-6122, CT-1421, CT-2232, CT-7324, CT-4512, CT-8112]**

**CC-2224:** As you are all aware, I’m Commander Cody, your new boss, this commline isn’t for official business, and I’ve ensured that no one but us will see these logs. This is purely for morale, and as you’ll see there are multiple sub-lines for various companies, feel free to join whichever ones you like.

 **CC-2224:** Ranks have no meaning here, this is simply for vode

 **[** **_CC-2224_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Cody_ ** **]**

 **Cody:** My name is Cody, he/him or they/them, and I’m here if any of you need anything

 **[** **_CC-2237_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Davijaan_ ** **]**

 **[** **_CC-5576-39_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Commando Gregor_ ** **]**

 **[** **_ARC-7567_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Lt Rex_ ** **]**

 **[** **_ARC-77_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Captain Fordo_ ** **]**

 **[** **_ARC-79_ ** **changed their name to** **_Lt Rocket_ ** **]**

 **[** **_ARC-82_ ** **changed their name to** **_Stecster_ ** **]**

 **Lt Rocket:** Really?

 **Stecster:** Well I don’t see anyone else doing it, someone has to have a sense of humour

 **[** **_Commando Gregor_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Capmando_ ** **]**

 **Stecster:** Nice

 **[** **_ARC-5215_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Heavy Gunner Guy_ ** **]**

 **[** **_ARC-3189_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Unidentified ARC Trooper_ ** **]**

 **[** **_ARC-6122_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Unidentified ARC Pilot_ ** **]**

 **[** **_CT-1421_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Got Wax?_ ** **]**

 **[** **_CT-2232_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Barley Boy_ ** **]**

 **[** **_CT-7324_ ** **changed their handle to** **_CRYStal Clear Sir_ ** **]**

 **[** **_CT-4512_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Eyeballin_ ** **]**

 **[** **_CT-8112_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Pacemaker_ ** **]**

 **Stecster:** niCE

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: ARC Boys]**

**[ACTIVE: Lt Rex, Stecster, Lt Rocket, Heavy Gunner Guy, Unidentified ARC Trooper, Unidentified ARC Pilot]**

**Lt Rex:** I’ve been dying to ask

 **Lt Rex:** What’s with the “Unidentified” shit?

 **Heavy Gunner Guy:** It’s a bit of a running joke

 **Unidentified ARC Trooper:** No one remembers who we are

 **Unidentified ARC Pilot:** I’ve yet to meet anyone who remembers my name who wasn’t in my batch

 **Stecster:** I remember your name!

 **Unidentified ARC Trooper:** oh yeah? What is it?

 **Stecster:** It’s

 **Stecster:** Uh

 **Stecster:** Shit

 **Lt Rocket:** You walked right into that one Stec

 **Lt Rocket:** You don’t even remember my name half the time

 **Lt Rocket:** You spent the last campaign just calling me Fellow Lieutenant

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: The Vode in Gold]**

**[ACTIVE: Got Wax?, Hardboil’d, Go Long(shot), Barley Boy, ShinyBaby13, ShinyBaby95]**

**Go Long(shot):** So, I know we were all worried about getting a Commander late, but I think I can confidently say that I like him

 **ShinyBaby95:** He’s amazing!

 **ShinyBaby13:** I wonder if I’ll ever be as good at kicking droids

 **[** **_Pacemaker_ ** **is Active]**

 **Pacemaker:** DO NOT KICK DROIDS

 **Pacemaker:** Just because the Commander has no regard for his bodily wellbeing doesn’t mean that any of you should too!

 **Pacemaker:** The satisfaction won’t last you long once you realize that you’ve fractured your femur!

 **Got Wax?:** talking from experience?

 **Hardboil’d:** okay but we all saw him karking deck that clanker right?

 **Hardboil’d:** amazing

 **Pacemaker:** Yes

 **Pacemaker:** AND HE BROKE HIS ENTIRE HAND DOING SO

 **Pacemaker:** AND THEN HAD THE NERVE TO TRY AND WALK IT OFF!

 **Got Wax?:** Did anyone else see him ride that spider droid like a horse?

 **Barley Boy:** He’s ARC right?

 **Barley Boy:** Do u think we could convince him to wear a kama?

 **Go Long(shot):** he does have the hips for it

 **ShinyBaby13:** He used my blaster like a grenade and I got hard so fast

 **ShinyBaby13:** I have never been as sexually confused as I am watching the commander and general fight together

 **Barley Boy:** You should see it when they spar

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: PILOTS FOR EXPLOSIONS]**

**[ACTIVE: Davijaan, Unidentified ARC Pilot, Red Leader, Ronto, Engle, Killer]**

**Red Leader:** who wants to bite the blaster and tell Commander Skywalker that his crazy flying is getting us shot down?

 **Unidentified ARC Pilot:** not it

 **Killer:** uh bad idea vod

 **Ronto:** Skywalker looks .1 heartbeat away from throwing someone out the airlock 100% of the time

 **Engle:** im both excited and afraid for when he finally gets promoted and none of us have to watch his six

 **Davijaan:** Commander Skywalker is an amazing pilot

 **Davijaan:** but a really bad commander, I hope he gets his sheb in order before he becomes a general

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: The Vode in Gold]**

**[ACTIVE: Threep, The Reedy One, CRYStal Clear Sir, ShiftingGear, Trapped]**

**ShiftingGear:** if

 **ShiftingGear:** if General Kenobi is -

 **ShiftingGear:** what’s going to happen to us?

 **Trapped:** Commander Skywalker isn’t going to get promoted

 **Trapped:** Right?

 **Trapped:** I mean - i like him, he’s a hoot, but he’s not really…

 **Trapped:** General material

 **Trapped:** Not like General Kenobi is

 **Trapped:** was

 **CRYStal Clear Sir:** i’m sure we’ll be fine, boys

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: The Vode in Gold]**

**[ACTIVE: Cody, Lt Rex, Davijaan, Got Wax?, Hardboil’d, Pacemaker, Kale, Eyeballin, The Reedy One, Threep]**

**Cody:** I’ve just gotten word from the 41st, General Kenobi’s been found on Rattatak alongside Alpha-17, they’re enroute to Coruscant now

 **Cody:** There’s not going to be an official announcement just yet, the High Generals want to keep it out of the public eye for now while they recover, but I thought it would be best to let everyone know that things will be back to running normally soon

 **Lt Rex:** oh thank the stars

 **Lt Rex:** I was getting sick of wrangling Skywalker

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: CONGRATS ON THE PROMOTION REXSTER]**

**[ACTIVE: CAPTAIN Rex, Cody]**

**CAPTAIN Rex:** YOU!

 **CAPTAIN Rex:** THIS IS YOUR FAULT!

 **Cody:** Congratulations on the promotion Rex! You’ve earned it!

 **[** **_CAPTAIN Rex_ ** **changed** **_Cody_ ** **’s handle to** **_PIECE OF SHIT_ ** **]**

 **[** **_CAPTAIN Rex_ ** **changed COMMLINE handle to** **_CODY IS A PIECE OF SHIT_ ** **]**

 **CAPTAIN Rex:** when I said working with Skywalker was fun I DIDN’T MEAN THAT I WANTED TO BE ASSIGNED TO HIM

 **CAPTAIN Rex:** I WAS ADMIRING HIS ABILITY TO BLOW THINGS UP

 **PIECE OF SHIT:** Well, you’re welcome Rex Old Boy, you’re now Captain of Torrent Company, of the freshly formed 501st Legion, serving directly under General Skywalker himself. He asked for you, personally

 **CAPTAIN Rex:** KARK

 **CAPTAIN Rex:** Okay

 **CAPTAIN Rex:** I can make plans for this

 **CAPTAIN Rex:** Who’s my new commander at least?

 **PIECE OF SHIT:** ah

 **PIECE OF SHIT:** I have no idea

 **CAPTAIN Rex:** YOU’RE THE KARKING MARSHALL COMMANDER

 **CAPTAIN Rex:** HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO MY COMDR IS?!?!

 **PIECE OF SHIT:** Skywalker hasn’t filed to paperwork for it yet

 **CAPTAIN Rex:** FUCK

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: CODY IS A PIECE OF SHIT]**

**[ACTIVE: Got Wax?, Hardboil’d]**

**Got Wax?:** I’m not even going to ask

 **Hardboil’d:** i think it’s funny

 **[** **_Got Wax?_ ** **changed COMMLINE handle to** **_Petition to get a Baby Jetii_ ** **]**

 **Got Wax?:** Since Skywalker’s flown the nest, do you think we’d be able to convince the general to get a new kid?


	4. Rex: Professional Child Wrangler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Foxster: Fox  
> woof: Wolffe  
> glory/Cody Rights Have Been Revoked/Cody Can Have Some Rights/Repressed Homosexual/Cody/Baby: Cody  
> Mister Aayla Secura: Bly  
> Pondscum: Ponds  
> eat ur greens: Gree  
> Honorary Sheb/Babysitter/Baby2: Rex

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: A Batch of Shebs]**

**[ACTIVE: Foxster, woof, glory, Mister Aayla Secura, Pondscum, eat ur greens, Honorary Sheb]**

**Honorary Sheb:** Cody has lost his kneecap privileges

 **Pondscum:** Did he break it again?

 **eat ur greens:** Kark Cody, we’ve all told you to stop kicking the damned clankers

 **glory:** Rex’ika’s just angry that he got promoted

 **Mister Aayla Secura:** Wow!

 **Mister Aayla Secura:** congrats Rex’ika!

 **Pondscum:** If there’s anyone who deserves a promotion it’s you vod’ika, you’ve come far since you were the tiny cadet Cody picked up from that supply closet

 **Honorary Sheb:** i got promoted

 **Honorary Sheb:** and i got transferred to Skywalker’s new legion

 **woof:** oh? Dar

 **Foxster:** dar

 **glory:** dar

 **Mister Aayla Secura:** dar

 **Pondscum:** dar

 **eat ur greens:** dar

 **glory:** It’s not my fault Rex’ika

 **glory:** Skywalker asked for you personally

 **glory:** no take backs

 **[** **_Honorary Sheb_ ** **changed** **_glory_ ** **’s handle to** **_Cody Rights Have Been Revoked_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Honorary Sheb_ ** **changed COMMLINE handle to** **_jump starter to put my brother down_ ** **]**

 **Cody Rights Have Been Revoked:** no respect

 **Foxster:** jokes on you, we don’t have any rights

 **Pondscum:** Wow this conversation has taken a very dark turn

 **Cody Rights Have Been Revoked:** I should have left you in that closet where I found you

 **Honorary Sheb:** but you didn’t

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: jump starter to put my brother down]**

**[ACTIVE: Honorary Sheb, Cody Rights Have Been Revoked, woof]**

**Honorary Sheb:** THIS IS ALREADY WORSE THAN I FEARED IT WOULD BE

 **Honorary Sheb:** WE STILL DON’T HAVE A COMDR

 **Honorary Sheb:** I WASNT IN COMMANDE TRAINGS VODE

 **woof:** still?

 **woof:** kark the di’kut should’ve filed for a commander by now

 **Cody Rights Have Been Revoked:** tell me about it

 **Honorary Sheb:** he’s just been throwing all the shit at me to do instead?!

 **Honorary Sheb:** “sir i’m ARC not CC”

 **Honorary Sheb:** “siR PLS IVE GONE THROUGH CAP MODULES AT MOST”

 **Cody Rights Have Been Revoked:** come to the 212th barracks, i’ll give you a run through, bring the paperwork with you

 **[** **_Honorary Sheb_ ** **changed** **_Cody Rights Have Been Revoked_ ** **’s handle to** **_Cody Can Have Some Rights_ ** **]**

 **woof:** i’m glad i got general koon

 **Honorary Sheb:** skywalkers not that bad

 **woof:** you were just complaining about him

 **Honorary Sheb:** he’s still just a kid, he’ll learn

 **Cody Can Have Some Rights:** Rex

 **Cody Can Have Some Rights:** we’re literally 10

 **woof:** well he better learn fast because it’s going to get someone, most likely you, killed

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: jump starter to put my brother down]**

**[ACTIVE: Cody Can Have Some Rights, eat ur greens, Pondscum]**

**Cody Can Have Some Rights:** seems like Kenobi has caved to Waxer’s puppy eyes

 **Cody Can Have Some Rights:** he’s looking into getting another padawan commander

 **eat ur greens:** Really?

 **Cody Can Have Some Rights:** he’s looking into this little Togruta kid general koon introduced him to

 **Cody Can Have Some Rights:** Waxer’s having fun kid-proofing the Negotiator

 **Cody Can Have Some Rights:** Kenobi and I are going over her files to see how to best fit her into the 212th

 **Cody Can Have Some Rights:** she seems pretty spunky, and is interested in jar’kai apparently - the two saber stuff

 **eat ur greens:** Well, if you need any advice on Jedi Shinies, don’t hesitate to ask

 **eat ur greens:** Offee is pretty quiet, but she’s also still a teenager

 **Cody Can Have Some Rights:** after the nightmare that was Skywalker I think I can handle anything this kid throws at me

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: jump starter to put my brother down]**

**[ACTIVE: Cody Can Have Some Rights, Honorary Sheb, Mister Aayla Secura]**

**[** **_Honorary Sheb_ ** **changed COMMLINE handle to** **_BLEASE NO MORE BUGS_ ** **]**

 **Mister Aayla Secura:** I’m almost afraid to ask

 **Honorary Sheb:** SKYWALKER KEEPS EATING BUGS

 **Honorary Sheb:** HE DOESNT EVEN CARE THAT THEY MIGHT BE POISONOUS

 **Honorary Sheb:** just slurps them down like wiggling noodles

 **Mister Aayla Secura:** ew

 **Cody Can Have Some Rights:** well I’m glad that I don’t have to put up with that anymore

 **[** **_Cody Can Have Some Rights_ ** **changed** **_Honorary Sheb_ ** **’s handle to** **_Babysitter_ ** **]**

 **Babysitter:** fuck you too

 **[** **_Babysitter_ ** **changed** **_Cody Can Have Some Rights_ ** **’s handle to** **_Repressed Homosexual_ ** **]**

 **Repressed Homosexual:** rude

 **Mister Aayla Secura:** ha

 **[** **_Pondscum_ ** **is Active]**

 **Pondscum:** he came for your throat

 **[** **_Pondscum_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **[** **_woof_ ** **is Active]**

 **woof:** this reminds me

 **Repressed Homosexual:** don’t you dare

 **woof:** how’s nightly tea with Kenobi going?

 **Repressed Homosexual:** WE DRINK TEA AND DO PAPERWORK

 **Repressed Homosexual:** EVERYTHING IS STRICTLY PROFESSIONAL

 **[** **_Foxster_ ** **is Active]**

 **[** **_Foxster_ ** **changed COMMLINE handle to** **_Bullying Kote Hours_ ** **]**

 **Repressed Homosexual:** RUDE

 **Mister Aayla Secura:** suck it up baby

 **Repressed Homosexual:** you’re only three minutes older than me you jerk

 **woof:** ah those were the days

 **Mister Aayla Secura:** haha lookat the baby they can’t even swear

 **Babysitter:** sometimes I actually forget that Cody’s the youngest

 **Repressed Homosexual:** I’m still older than you you brat

 **[** **_Repressed Homosexual_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Cody_ ** **]**

 **Foxster:** We must not hold it over their head enough if you forget that Cody’s a baby

 **[** **_Foxster_ ** **changed** **_Cody_ ** **’s handle to** **_Baby_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Foxster_ ** **changed** **_Babysitter_ ** **’s handle to** **_Baby2_ ** **]**

 **Baby:** RUDE

 **Baby2:** you can kark right off

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Bullying Kote Hours]**

**[ACTIVE: Baby2]**

**Baby2:** oh god

 **Baby2:** OH KARK

 **Baby2:** THEYRE MULTIPLYING WHAT DID I DO TO DESVER THIS?!?!

 **Baby2:** WHOSE BRIGHT IDEA WS IT TO GIV SKYWALKER A KID??!!?!?

 **Baby2:** BAD IDEA BADIDEA!!

 **Baby2:** THEYRE BOTH INSANE

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Bullying Kote Hours]**

**[ACTIVE: Baby, Baby2, Pondscum]**

**Baby2:** so

 **Baby2:** um

 **Baby2:** looks like the kid is staying?

 **Pondscum:** I thought the padawan was going to the 212th?

 **Baby:** So did I

 **Baby:** Apparently General Yoda assigned Commander Tano to the 501st instead

 **Baby2:** Kix is stressing himself to tears

 **Baby2:** None of us were ready for a baby jedi, especially not one with a different biology

 **Pondscum:** what a mess

 **Pondscum:** Want me to talk to General Windu? He can straighten this out?

 **Baby:** Kenobi was going to talked to the kid about it after the campaign, but it looks like Skywalker and Tano are okay with it now and he doesn’t want to get between them

 **Baby:** too nice for his own good

 **Baby:** I’ll send Pace over to Kix with the stuff and the kid’s medical files

 **Baby:** It’ll be better than nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to leave suggestions for what you want to see!


	5. Malevolent Luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vvulffe/CC-3636: Wolffe  
> Codes Needed/CC-2224: Cody  
> Rexy: Rex  
> greenie: Gree  
> Lilypad: Ponds  
> BB: Bly  
> Foxy/Fcuk/CC-1010: Fox

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Command Me Bitch]**

**[ACTIVE: vvulffe, Codes Needed, Rexy, greenie]**

**vvulffe:** We’re being shipped out after the mystery weapon

 **Codes Needed:** while your armor is being repaired?!?

 **vvulffe:** I’ll be going in my grays

 **vvulffe:** unfortunately

 **[** **_Lilypad_ ** **is Active]**

 **[** **_Foxy_ ** **is Active]**

 **[** **_BB_ ** **is Active]**

 **Rexy:** fuck

 **Rexy:** this thing has been decimating fleets

 **Foxy:** They’re just throwing bodies at this thing now aren’t they, hoping at least one of their bloody sacrifices will survive

 **Lilypad:** Fox

 **Foxy:** You know I’m right Ponds

 **Foxy:** We’re clones, we were made to be expendable

 **Foxy:** And the Jedi aren’t well liked in the Senate either

 **greenie:** Enough Fox

 **Foxy:** Wolffe… 

**Foxy:** Ret'urcye mhi

 **[** **_Foxy_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **BB:** Be safe Wolffe

 **vvulffe:** It’s not up to me

 **BB:** Then perish I guess

 **vvulffe:** You’re hilarious

 **vvulffe:** Ret'urcye mhi vode

 **Codes Needed:** Stay in contact vod

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: jate’kara]**

**[ACTIVE: vvulffe, Rexy, Codes Needed]**

**Codes Needed:** How’s it looking out there Wolffe?

 **Codes Needed:** Wolffe?

**[vvulffe… SIGNAL LOST]**

**{Searching for Signals…}**

**[vvulffe… SIGNAL LOST]**

**[vvulffe is Inactive]**

**Codes Needed:** Kriff

 **Rexy:** General Koon was on comm with Skywalker when we lost the signal

 **Rexy:** I think Skywalker is planning something

 **Rexy:** oh he’s definitely planning something

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: jate’kara]**

**[ACTIVE: Rexy, Codes Needed, Foxy, Lilypad, greenie]**

**[** **_Rexy_ ** **uploaded a capture]**

 **[** **_ID_ ** **:** _Wolffe is seated on a medical cot, scowling at the medic hovering over him and Kix scowls right back. They’re caught in a silent, stubborn battle, and Wolffe’s arms are crossed over his chest._ **]**

 **Rexy:** Message from Wolffe: “I lived bitch”

 **Lilypad:** oh thank force

 **Lilypad:** how is he?

 **Rexy:** grumpy and already driving kix to murder

 **Rexy:** some pressure sickness

 **Rexy:** he’s grieving though, but he refuses to show it

 **greenie:** Shit

 **greenie:** How many survived?

 **Rexy:** including General Koon?

 **Rexy:** 4

 **Codes Needed:** kark

 **[** **_Foxy_ ** **is Active]**

 **Foxy:** It was moments away from be none

 **Foxy:** The Chancellor ordered Skywalker to return to the fleet, seems like Skywalker didn’t listen

 **Rexy:** i think we have Tano to thank for that

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: jate’kara]**

**[ACTIVE: CC-3636, Foxy, BB]**

**CC-3636:** I lived fuckers

 **BB:** Welcome back Wolffe!

 **BB:** how are you vod?

 **CC-3636:** I bullied Kote to get a new datapad, we’re heading after the ion cannon

 **BB:** that’s not an answer to the question I was asking

 **BB:** i asked how you were doing, not what

 **CC-3636:** I’m fine

 **BB:** Wolffe

 **BB:** You’re not fine

 **CC-3636:** I’m FINE

 **[** **_CC-3636_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **BB:** karking hells Wolffe

 **Foxy:** Leave it Bly

 **BB:** I can’t just leave it!

 **BB:** He needs us!

 **Foxy:** That’s not up to us to decide, give him time - he won’t let it get to him while he’s on the field

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: jate’kara]**

**[ACTIVE: Codes Needed, Rexy, Foxy, Lilypad]**

**Codes Needed:** the canon’s been taken care of, we’re on our way back to Coruscant

 **Codes Needed:** sabbac game?

 **Rexy:** I’m in

 **Lilypad:** I’ll see if I can

 **Foxy:** can’t

 **Foxy:** got patrol

 **Foxy:** fuckimgd chancelolr, wants his streetds fuckinf clean for his godsmand progedanga vido

 **Foxy:** Fcuk

 **Foxy:** Fuck*

 **[** **_Foxy_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **[** **_Codes Needed_ ** **changed COMMLINE handle to** **_Reduplic Progedanga_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Lilypad_ ** **changed** **_Foxy_ ** **’s handle to** **_Fcuk_ ** **]**

 **Lilypad:** GO TO SLEEP FOX

 **Rexy:** haha

* * *

**[Private COMMLINE opened…]**

**[ACTIVE: CC-2224, CC-1010]**

**CC-1010:** How’s he doing?

 **CC-2224:** Lethargic, grieving, angry

 **CC-2224:** but wouldn’t any of us?

 **CC-1010:** it won’t be getting any better for anyone

 **CC-2224:** I know

 **CC-2224:** But the least we can do is be there for him in the time we have left

 **CC-1010:** If he’ll let us

 **CC-1010:** Wolffe’s a stubborn bastard on good days

 **CC-2224:** Well, we always knew it would be hard

 **CC-2224:** oya

**[Private COMMLINE closed…]**


	6. Welcome to Rishi, your holiday getaway!

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[** **_O’Niner_ ** **opened COMMLINE]**

**[COMMLINE: Rishi Moon Outpost]**

**[ACTIVE: O’Niner, Nub, 327, CT-782, CT-21-0408, CT-27-5555, CT-00-2010, CT-4040]**

**O’Niner:** Welcome to Rishi rookies

 **O’Niner:** Base regs are in your bunks, make sure you study up on them before we start PT at 0600

 **O’Niner:** These are Nub and 327, your senior troopers on base. If I’m ever not available for something, go to them

 **Nub:** Make yourselves comfortable kids, because it’s incredibly dull here

 **327:** You’ve landed yourselves the most boring assignment in the books

**[CT-782 changed their handle to Hevy]**

**[Hevy changed CT-27-5555’s handle to Fives]**

**[CT-4040 changed their handle to Cutup]**

**[Hevy changed CT-21-0408’s handle to Echo]**

**[CT-00-2010 changed their handle to Droidbait]**

**Droidbait:** Thank you sir!

 **Nub:** You don’t have to use ranks here, kid, no one reads these bloody things

 **Nub:** 327 once spent an entire rotation spamming us with captures of moon rocks and named them, and he hasn’t been reported for it yet, we’re not important enough for our internal commline to be monitored

 **Nub:** It was pretty stupid really

 **327:** you take that back

 **327:** stop hurting Dwayne’s feelings

 **Fives:** y

 **Fives:** you named a rock dwayne?

 **327:** Yeah

 **Echo:** I’m honestly a little afraid to ask

 **Echo:** But why Dwayne?

 **327:** why not?

 **Cutup:** that’s valid

 **327:** also, saying “Dwayne the Rock” is a lot of fun

 **Hevy:** valid

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Rishi Moon Outpost]**

**[ACTIVE: Fives]**

**[** **_Fives_ ** **changed** **_Echo_ ** **’s handle to** **_echo(echo)((echo))_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Fives_ ** **changed their handle to** **_a fives is speaking_ ** **]**

 **[** **_a fives is speaking_ ** **changed** **_Droidbait_ ** **’s handle to** **_Another One Bites The Dust_ ** **]**

 **[** **_a fives is speaking_ ** **changed** **_Hevy_ ** **’s handle to** **_BOOMBOY_ ** **]**

 **[** **_a fives is speaking_ ** **changed** **_Cutup_ ** **’s handle to** **_Oh?Worm_ ** **]**

 **a fives is speaking:** tight

 **[** **_a fives is speaking_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **[** **_Oh?Worm_ ** **is Active]**

 **Oh?Worm:** what the kark is this

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Rishi Moon Outpost]**

**[ACTIVE: a fives is speaking, Oh?Worm, Another One Bites The Dust, BOOMBOY, echo(echo)((echo))]**

**BOOMBOY:** WHAT THE HELLS FIVES??!!

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** this is definitely against regulations

 **a fives is speaking:** it’s not! :D I checked!!!

 **Another One Bites The Dust:** of course Fives read the regs for the first time ever only just to see if he could get away with being a shit

 **a fives is speaking:** :D :D

 **Oh?Worm:** oh

 **Oh?Worm:** don’t like that

 **BOOMBOY:** seriously

 **BOOMBOY:** why these names

 **a fives is speaking:** who knows! :D

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** you do

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** that’s why he asked

 **a fives is speaking:** i have no idea!

 **a fives is speaking:** seemed like they were funny at the time

 **BOOMBOY:** this is why you need to sleep!

 **a fives is speaking:** i’d rather not

 **a fives is speaking:** my dreams are karked up

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Rishi Moon Outpost]**

**[ACTIVE: O’Niner, echo(echo)((echo))]**

**O’Niner:** Well, someone had fun last night

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** I am so sorry sir

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** Fives is a…

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** character

 **O’Niner:** As long as he gets the job done, I don’t care what he gets up to in his down time

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** That’s a very dangerous thing to say sir

 **[** **_a fives is speaking_ ** **is Active]**

 **a fives is speaking:** OWO?

 **O’NIner:** What the kark is that

 **[** **_327_ ** **is Active]**

 **327:** I don’t know, but I like it!

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Rishi Moon Outpost]**

**[ACTIVE: a fives is speaking]**

**a fives is speaking:** nobody listen to anything echo says today

 **a fives is speaking:** she’s just jealous that i’m cooler than her

 **[** **_Nup_ ** **is Active]**

 **Nup:** what did you do?

 **a fives is speaking:** why does everyone assume that it’s my fault?

 **[** **_BOOMBOY_ ** **is Active]**

 **BOOMBOY:** Because it usually is

* * *

  
  
  
  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Rishi Moon Outpost]**

**[ACTIVE: S̶̡̢̡̨̧̡̢̢̨̛̫̰̤̮͕̬̳̰͍͍̱̻̘̯͔͍̰̺̳̘̫͙̜̣̘͍̼̰̝͑̍̈́͂̒̄̌͗̓̽̐̈́̋̋̈́͂̏̔͛̌̿̐̔͊̚͝͝͠͝ͅͅI̶̧̡̨̡̨̧̧͖̠̠̙͇͙̮͎̳͎͓͇̬͔̦̻̫̼̰̗̳͇͔̲͖̠̜̳͈̞̰̖̗̻̬͓̖̩̳̔̒͆̔̎̈́̒̈́̋̃̆̇̌̓͑͋̈́̅̑͌͐̀̈́̎̏͆̍̓̑̊̅̂͒͒̈́͑̉̍̑͒̏̆̉̌͘͠͠͠G̵̢̡̛̻̰͉͇̟͓̟̙̻̩̼̼̲͔͎̖̩̝̮̱̲̟͗̓̓̆̔̏̌̆̋̏̈́̽͒̑̾̆͐̉̌̉͒̂͑͑͂̈́̎͗̋̃̔̓͛͌͆̄͂͘͘͜͝͝N̸̢̧̨̢̢̡̛̻̥͍̳̘̘̦̦̦̙̲̼̹̲̬̲͍͓̹͙̺̘̘̺̮̐̋͗̄̎͂̏͗̇̐̓̇̋̉̈́͛̍͑͆̉̆̂̀̏̇͒͑̌̊̒̑̈́̏͛̆̇͑͛̒͋̆̂̀̒̑̿̌̓̽̋̍͆̋̂̾̑̽̍̋͘͘̚̕͜͜͝͝͠͝Ạ̵̡̢̧̧̛̞̝̘̦̪̲̤̻̬̗̖̩̭͕̰̯͕͙̤̜̺̣̜̝̱̬̦͖̣̳̜̲̭̯̖̬͔͕̭̩̼͉̰͉̞͈̥͕̩̭̮̳͒͐͑̉̓̋̊̊̂̿̃̍̂͗̅̓̊̆̆̿̀̂̆̾͂̉̐̋̾͛̈́͛͆̆͗̿̉͐͌̕͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅL̵̨̧͈̘̩͇̱̯̭̜̲̻̰̗̬̺͚̆̈̓͊̓̏̍́͛̀̌̊͜͝͝͝ ̷̨̧̧͈͎͇͍̩͕̲̘̺͔̫̯͖͈̝̖̼̫͇̻͇̪̠͚͔͎̘̟̦̜̭̜̱̗̻͙̬͎̟̯͉̬̥͖̟̥̈̈́͌͆̿̏̇̊̈͐̃̅̓̽͑̆̓̂̽͗̚̕̚͜͝͝ͅͅĻ̷̢̨̡̢̢̪̰̬̳͉̖̟͙̹̟͎͇͉͔̼̭̪̲̼͎̬͇͔̳̼͖̣͖͔͚̻̜̰̯̼̯̮̰̖̣̙̳̮̘͎̮͚͈̻̫̪͚̣̞̻̺͍͍͕͍͉͊̈́͋̃̔̂̿͗͊͛͑͌͒̉̔̎̏̇̿̚͜͜͝͠ͅͅO̵̡̗͙̻̫̱͈̟͉͛̐̂̓̂͆̆͑́͛̒̔̆͛̈̓̅͗̄͛͗͗̏͒͑̎̏̓̈́̓́͂̀̐̅͆̏̉̎̓̔̃̾͒̇͑̿̒̽͘̚̕͘͘͝͠͝Ŝ̷̢̨̧̧̨̩̻̯̤̩̻̜̭͎̠̗̙̮̹̯̙̥̺̯͉͔͔̼͙̗̟̬̙̙̯̗̼̘̯̭̰̲͉̥̰̲͓̝̯͖̙͍̝̩̝̝̗̗̻̰́̂T̴̨̨̡̮̦̯͚͔̱̗͈̻̖̪͍͎̬͈̤̰̱͙̮̩̟̦̗̘̘͎̣̺̯͋̆̑̿̚͜]**

  
  


**{̴̢̬̯͔̄̈́̆̓̔̃̏̃͌̇̇̒͗̉̈́͋̍̕ͅS̶̛̮̣̥͈̜͙̦̳͔͕͈̲̈́̔ȩ̵̳͔͇̘̤̭̣͉̹̹̺̝͋͆̐̐̎͒̕a̶̢̢̢̩͍̠̜̳̻̙̖̺͖̻̣͙̗̹͑ŗ̷͇̲̳̗̰͉̥̳͉͎͕̰̪̊̅̈́͗͐̕͜͜c̵̺̣̩̥͕̖̒̑̃̃̈́͌̏̒̈̇́͗͘͠h̷̡̢̭̭̫̯̲̘̼͎̟͓̣̞̿̊͘i̴̞͙̱̭͙̯̙͎̜̟̖̘͖̻̮̯̤͓̤͉͑̎̐̔̉̒͒̀͌͌̔͊̈́̌͝͠͝ͅn̴̛͔̲͓͖͎͕͓̗̺͉̉̅͌̽̈̎̾͗̂̓̾̽̋͆̽̈́̄̑̕g̴̼̭͎̱̩̺̮̥̗̰̝̝̦̠̭͉̪̯͍̔͛̕͠ ̵̨͖̰̬̥̬̪̞̙̗̩̳̲̖̗̝̺̥̙̳̇̓͊̔͘f̴̡̡̛̛̛̦͉̬̺̦̝͙̗̝͓̠́͗͛̌̈̏͗̀̚͘ͅȯ̷̟̗͎͍͉̖͈̹̠̓̓̽̋͜ͅŗ̴̡̬͖̬͖͑̄̆͝ ̶͓͈̭̫͙͔͙̬̲͇̅̃̉̋͘͜͝s̵̟̥̭̣͇̓̀̾͋̄̂̃͊͘̚͜͝i̷͙̣͎̱̤͔̘̲̙͓̘̯̪̟̪̫͚͗̉́͛͑̏̇͒̂̐̈́̓̕͝͠ģ̸̺̞͔̱̯̮̭͕̳̥͔͍̗͉̫̥͌ͅn̵͓͈̤̖̲̊͐͜͝a̶̜̩̻̬̪̣̞̗͙̫̖̝͓̾̅͌̎̈̕͝l̷̨̤̪̞̦͓̳̊͛̈́̊͗̆͌̒̓̓̓̑̍̌͊͗̽̍̕͝s̵̹̝͖̺̩̞̟̮̠̭̭̣̺͛̏}̵͇̦͓̝̣̱͌̐̿͝͝**

**{̶̨̤̟̱͈̘̜̽̊̍̊̈́͜ͅE̴̦͉͖͚͇̭̓̈́̚ṡ̵͕͈̣͔̲t̴̨̟̼̫̙̰̒̓a̶̧͈͈̫͑͐̃̉̂̐̾͠b̷̧̛͉̘̰̣̙͌́̌̿̕͝l̶͍̰͙̩̹͎͊̿͆́̈́͝į̶̟̠͇̩̰̄͑̇͑͝͝ŝ̴̥̯̺̻͙͙͈̈ḩ̴̛̝̱͎̠͓͋̏͑̋̔͐̕͜ͅị̴̡̬̹̆̎̐n̶͚̬͍̋ͅg̷̫̤̊ ̶̛̛̥̩̭̮̤̞͖̥͌̏̽͆͜l̴̨̡̅̍̕į̴̜͖̼͎̫͆n̶͙̫͓̐̌͛̌̈̂̍k̵̯͓̮̬̇ͅ.̶͙̙͛̒̀̍.̸̫͖̦̘͒́͘.̷̟̩͇̐̐̈́͐͠}̷̤͗͆̂̈́̓̆͗̆**

  
  


**[** **_327_ ** **… S̶̡̢̡̨̧̡̢̢̨̛̫̰̤̮͕̬̳̰͍͍̱̻̘̯͔͍̰̺̳̘̫͙̜̣̘͍̼̰̝͑̍̈́͂̒̄̌͗̓̽̐̈́̋̋̈́͂̏̔͛̌̿̐̔͊̚͝͝͠͝ͅͅI̶̧̡̨̡̨̧̧͖̠̠̙͇͙̮͎̳͎͓͇̬͔̦̻̫̼̰̗̳͇͔̲͖̠̜̳͈̞̰̖̗̻̬͓̖̩̳̔̒͆̔̎̈́̒̈́̋̃̆̇̌̓͑͋̈́̅̑͌͐̀̈́̎̏͆̍̓̑̊̅̂͒͒̈́͑̉̍̑͒̏̆̉̌͘͠͠͠G̵̢̡̛̻̰͉͇̟͓̟̙̻̩̼̼̲͔͎̖̩̝̮̱̲̟͗̓̓̆̔̏̌̆̋̏̈́̽͒̑̾̆͐̉̌̉͒̂͑͑͂̈́̎͗̋̃̔̓͛͌͆̄͂͘͘͜͝͝N̸̢̧̨̢̢̡̛̻̥͍̳̘̘̦̦̦̙̲̼̹̲̬̲͍͓̹͙̺̘̘̺̮̐̋͗̄̎͂̏͗̇̐̓̇̋̉̈́͛̍͑͆̉̆̂̀̏̇͒͑̌̊̒̑̈́̏͛̆̇͑͛̒͋̆̂̀̒̑̿̌̓̽̋̍͆̋̂̾̑̽̍̋͘͘̚̕͜͜͝͝͠͝Ạ̵̡̢̧̧̛̞̝̘̦̪̲̤̻̬̗̖̩̭͕̰̯͕͙̤̜̺̣̜̝̱̬̦͖̣̳̜̲̭̯̖̬͔͕̭̩̼͉̰͉̞͈̥͕̩̭̮̳͒͐͑̉̓̋̊̊̂̿̃̍̂͗̅̓̊̆̆̿̀̂̆̾͂̉̐̋̾͛̈́͛͆̆͗̿̉͐͌̕͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅL̵̨̧͈̘̩͇̱̯̭̜̲̻̰̗̬̺͚̆̈̓͊̓̏̍́͛̀̌̊͜͝͝͝ ̷̨̧̧͈͎͇͍̩͕̲̘̺͔̫̯͖͈̝̖̼̫͇̻͇̪̠͚͔͎̘̟̦̜̭̜̱̗̻͙̬͎̟̯͉̬̥͖̟̥̈̈́͌͆̿̏̇̊̈͐̃̅̓̽͑̆̓̂̽͗̚̕̚͜͝͝ͅͅĻ̷̢̨̡̢̢̪̰̬̳͉̖̟͙̹̟͎͇͉͔̼̭̪̲̼͎̬͇͔̳̼͖̣͖͔͚̻̜̰̯̼̯̮̰̖̣̙̳̮̘͎̮͚͈̻̫̪͚̣̞̻̺͍͍͕͍͉͊̈́͋̃̔̂̿͗͊͛͑͌͒̉̔̎̏̇̿̚͜͜͝͠ͅͅO̵̡̗͙̻̫̱͈̟͉͛̐̂̓̂͆̆͑́͛̒̔̆͛̈̓̅͗̄͛͗͗̏͒͑̎̏̓̈́̓́͂̀̐̅͆̏̉̎̓̔̃̾͒̇͑̿̒̽͘̚̕͘͘͝͠͝Ŝ̷̢̨̧̧̨̩̻̯̤̩̻̜̭͎̠̗̙̮̹̯̙̥̺̯͉͔͔̼͙̗̟̬̙̙̯̗̼̘̯̭̰̲͉̥̰̲͓̝̯͖̙͍̝̩̝̝̗̗̻̰́̂T̴̨̨̡̮̦̯͚͔̱̗͈̻̖̪͍͎̬͈̤̰̱͙̮̩̟̦̗̘̘͎̣̺̯͋̆̑̿̚͜]**

  
  
  


**[** **_Another One Bites the Dust_ ** **… S̶̡̢̡̨̧̡̢̢̨̛̫̰̤̮͕̬̳̰͍͍̱̻̘̯͔͍̰̺̳̘̫͙̜̣̘͍̼̰̝͑̍̈́͂̒̄̌͗̓̽̐̈́̋̋̈́͂̏̔͛̌̿̐̔͊̚͝͝͠͝ͅͅI̶̧̡̨̡̨̧̧͖̠̠̙͇͙̮͎̳͎͓͇̬͔̦̻̫̼̰̗̳͇͔̲͖̠̜̳͈̞̰̖̗̻̬͓̖̩̳̔̒͆̔̎̈́̒̈́̋̃̆̇̌̓͑͋̈́̅̑͌͐̀̈́̎̏͆̍̓̑̊̅̂͒͒̈́͑̉̍̑͒̏̆̉̌͘͠͠͠G̵̢̡̛̻̰͉͇̟͓̟̙̻̩̼̼̲͔͎̖̩̝̮̱̲̟͗̓̓̆̔̏̌̆̋̏̈́̽͒̑̾̆͐̉̌̉͒̂͑͑͂̈́̎͗̋̃̔̓͛͌͆̄͂͘͘͜͝͝N̸̢̧̨̢̢̡̛̻̥͍̳̘̘̦̦̦̙̲̼̹̲̬̲͍͓̹͙̺̘̘̺̮̐̋͗̄̎͂̏͗̇̐̓̇̋̉̈́͛̍͑͆̉̆̂̀̏̇͒͑̌̊̒̑̈́̏͛̆̇͑͛̒͋̆̂̀̒̑̿̌̓̽̋̍͆̋̂̾̑̽̍̋͘͘̚̕͜͜͝͝͠͝Ạ̵̡̢̧̧̛̞̝̘̦̪̲̤̻̬̗̖̩̭͕̰̯͕͙̤̜̺̣̜̝̱̬̦͖̣̳̜̲̭̯̖̬͔͕̭̩̼͉̰͉̞͈̥͕̩̭̮̳͒͐͑̉̓̋̊̊̂̿̃̍̂͗̅̓̊̆̆̿̀̂̆̾͂̉̐̋̾͛̈́͛͆̆͗̿̉͐͌̕͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅL̵̨̧͈̘̩͇̱̯̭̜̲̻̰̗̬̺͚̆̈̓͊̓̏̍́͛̀̌̊͜͝͝͝ ̷̨̧̧͈͎͇͍̩͕̲̘̺͔̫̯͖͈̝̖̼̫͇̻͇̪̠͚͔͎̘̟̦̜̭̜̱̗̻͙̬͎̟̯͉̬̥͖̟̥̈̈́͌͆̿̏̇̊̈͐̃̅̓̽͑̆̓̂̽͗̚̕̚͜͝͝ͅͅĻ̷̢̨̡̢̢̪̰̬̳͉̖̟͙̹̟͎͇͉͔̼̭̪̲̼͎̬͇͔̳̼͖̣͖͔͚̻̜̰̯̼̯̮̰̖̣̙̳̮̘͎̮͚͈̻̫̪͚̣̞̻̺͍͍͕͍͉͊̈́͋̃̔̂̿͗͊͛͑͌͒̉̔̎̏̇̿̚͜͜͝͠ͅͅO̵̡̗͙̻̫̱͈̟͉͛̐̂̓̂͆̆͑́͛̒̔̆͛̈̓̅͗̄͛͗͗̏͒͑̎̏̓̈́̓́͂̀̐̅͆̏̉̎̓̔̃̾͒̇͑̿̒̽͘̚̕͘͘͝͠͝Ŝ̷̢̨̧̧̨̩̻̯̤̩̻̜̭͎̠̗̙̮̹̯̙̥̺̯͉͔͔̼͙̗̟̬̙̙̯̗̼̘̯̭̰̲͉̥̰̲͓̝̯͖̙͍̝̩̝̝̗̗̻̰́̂T̴̨̨̡̮̦̯͚͔̱̗͈̻̖̪͍͎̬͈̤̰̱͙̮̩̟̦̗̘̘͎̣̺̯͋̆̑̿̚͜]**

 **[** **_Nub_ ** **… S̶̡̢̡̨̧̡̢̢̨̛̫̰̤̮͕̬̳̰͍͍̱̻̘̯͔͍̰̺̳̘̫͙̜̣̘͍̼̰̝͑̍̈́͂̒̄̌͗̓̽̐̈́̋̋̈́͂̏̔͛̌̿̐̔͊̚͝͝͠͝ͅͅI̶̧̡̨̡̨̧̧͖̠̠̙͇͙̮͎̳͎͓͇̬͔̦̻̫̼̰̗̳͇͔̲͖̠̜̳͈̞̰̖̗̻̬͓̖̩̳̔̒͆̔̎̈́̒̈́̋̃̆̇̌̓͑͋̈́̅̑͌͐̀̈́̎̏͆̍̓̑̊̅̂͒͒̈́͑̉̍̑͒̏̆̉̌͘͠͠͠G̵̢̡̛̻̰͉͇̟͓̟̙̻̩̼̼̲͔͎̖̩̝̮̱̲̟͗̓̓̆̔̏̌̆̋̏̈́̽͒̑̾̆͐̉̌̉͒̂͑͑͂̈́̎͗̋̃̔̓͛͌͆̄͂͘͘͜͝͝N̸̢̧̨̢̢̡̛̻̥͍̳̘̘̦̦̦̙̲̼̹̲̬̲͍͓̹͙̺̘̘̺̮̐̋͗̄̎͂̏͗̇̐̓̇̋̉̈́͛̍͑͆̉̆̂̀̏̇͒͑̌̊̒̑̈́̏͛̆̇͑͛̒͋̆̂̀̒̑̿̌̓̽̋̍͆̋̂̾̑̽̍̋͘͘̚̕͜͜͝͝͠͝Ạ̵̡̢̧̧̛̞̝̘̦̪̲̤̻̬̗̖̩̭͕̰̯͕͙̤̜̺̣̜̝̱̬̦͖̣̳̜̲̭̯̖̬͔͕̭̩̼͉̰͉̞͈̥͕̩̭̮̳͒͐͑̉̓̋̊̊̂̿̃̍̂͗̅̓̊̆̆̿̀̂̆̾͂̉̐̋̾͛̈́͛͆̆͗̿̉͐͌̕͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅL̵̨̧͈̘̩͇̱̯̭̜̲̻̰̗̬̺͚̆̈̓͊̓̏̍́͛̀̌̊͜͝͝͝ ̷̨̧̧͈͎͇͍̩͕̲̘̺͔̫̯͖͈̝̖̼̫͇̻͇̪̠͚͔͎̘̟̦̜̭̜̱̗̻͙̬͎̟̯͉̬̥͖̟̥̈̈́͌͆̿̏̇̊̈͐̃̅̓̽͑̆̓̂̽͗̚̕̚͜͝͝ͅͅĻ̷̢̨̡̢̢̪̰̬̳͉̖̟͙̹̟͎͇͉͔̼̭̪̲̼͎̬͇͔̳̼͖̣͖͔͚̻̜̰̯̼̯̮̰̖̣̙̳̮̘͎̮͚͈̻̫̪͚̣̞̻̺͍͍͕͍͉͊̈́͋̃̔̂̿͗͊͛͑͌͒̉̔̎̏̇̿̚͜͜͝͠ͅͅO̵̡̗͙̻̫̱͈̟͉͛̐̂̓̂͆̆͑́͛̒̔̆͛̈̓̅͗̄͛͗͗̏͒͑̎̏̓̈́̓́͂̀̐̅͆̏̉̎̓̔̃̾͒̇͑̿̒̽͘̚̕͘͘͝͠͝Ŝ̷̢̨̧̧̨̩̻̯̤̩̻̜̭͎̠̗̙̮̹̯̙̥̺̯͉͔͔̼͙̗̟̬̙̙̯̗̼̘̯̭̰̲͉̥̰̲͓̝̯͖̙͍̝̩̝̝̗̗̻̰́̂T̴̨̨̡̮̦̯͚͔̱̗͈̻̖̪͍͎̬͈̤̰̱͙̮̩̟̦̗̘̘͎̣̺̯͋̆̑̿̚͜]**

  
  
  


**[** **_O’Niner_ ** **… S̶̡̢̡̨̧̡̢̢̨̛̫̰̤̮͕̬̳̰͍͍̱̻̘̯͔͍̰̺̳̘̫͙̜̣̘͍̼̰̝͑̍̈́͂̒̄̌͗̓̽̐̈́̋̋̈́͂̏̔͛̌̿̐̔͊̚͝͝͠͝ͅͅI̶̧̡̨̡̨̧̧͖̠̠̙͇͙̮͎̳͎͓͇̬͔̦̻̫̼̰̗̳͇͔̲͖̠̜̳͈̞̰̖̗̻̬͓̖̩̳̔̒͆̔̎̈́̒̈́̋̃̆̇̌̓͑͋̈́̅̑͌͐̀̈́̎̏͆̍̓̑̊̅̂͒͒̈́͑̉̍̑͒̏̆̉̌͘͠͠͠G̵̢̡̛̻̰͉͇̟͓̟̙̻̩̼̼̲͔͎̖̩̝̮̱̲̟͗̓̓̆̔̏̌̆̋̏̈́̽͒̑̾̆͐̉̌̉͒̂͑͑͂̈́̎͗̋̃̔̓͛͌͆̄͂͘͘͜͝͝N̸̢̧̨̢̢̡̛̻̥͍̳̘̘̦̦̦̙̲̼̹̲̬̲͍͓̹͙̺̘̘̺̮̐̋͗̄̎͂̏͗̇̐̓̇̋̉̈́͛̍͑͆̉̆̂̀̏̇͒͑̌̊̒̑̈́̏͛̆̇͑͛̒͋̆̂̀̒̑̿̌̓̽̋̍͆̋̂̾̑̽̍̋͘͘̚̕͜͜͝͝͠͝Ạ̵̡̢̧̧̛̞̝̘̦̪̲̤̻̬̗̖̩̭͕̰̯͕͙̤̜̺̣̜̝̱̬̦͖̣̳̜̲̭̯̖̬͔͕̭̩̼͉̰͉̞͈̥͕̩̭̮̳͒͐͑̉̓̋̊̊̂̿̃̍̂͗̅̓̊̆̆̿̀̂̆̾͂̉̐̋̾͛̈́͛͆̆͗̿̉͐͌̕͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅL̵̨̧͈̘̩͇̱̯̭̜̲̻̰̗̬̺͚̆̈̓͊̓̏̍́͛̀̌̊͜͝͝͝ ̷̨̧̧͈͎͇͍̩͕̲̘̺͔̫̯͖͈̝̖̼̫͇̻͇̪̠͚͔͎̘̟̦̜̭̜̱̗̻͙̬͎̟̯͉̬̥͖̟̥̈̈́͌͆̿̏̇̊̈͐̃̅̓̽͑̆̓̂̽͗̚̕̚͜͝͝ͅͅĻ̷̢̨̡̢̢̪̰̬̳͉̖̟͙̹̟͎͇͉͔̼̭̪̲̼͎̬͇͔̳̼͖̣͖͔͚̻̜̰̯̼̯̮̰̖̣̙̳̮̘͎̮͚͈̻̫̪͚̣̞̻̺͍͍͕͍͉͊̈́͋̃̔̂̿͗͊͛͑͌͒̉̔̎̏̇̿̚͜͜͝͠ͅͅO̵̡̗͙̻̫̱͈̟͉͛̐̂̓̂͆̆͑́͛̒̔̆͛̈̓̅͗̄͛͗͗̏͒͑̎̏̓̈́̓́͂̀̐̅͆̏̉̎̓̔̃̾͒̇͑̿̒̽͘̚̕͘͘͝͠͝Ŝ̷̢̨̧̧̨̩̻̯̤̩̻̜̭͎̠̗̙̮̹̯̙̥̺̯͉͔͔̼͙̗̟̬̙̙̯̗̼̘̯̭̰̲͉̥̰̲͓̝̯͖̙͍̝̩̝̝̗̗̻̰́̂T̴̨̨̡̮̦̯͚͔̱̗͈̻̖̪͍͎̬͈̤̰̱͙̮̩̟̦̗̘̘͎̣̺̯͋̆̑̿̚͜]**

  
  
  


**[** **_Oh?Worm_ ** **… S̶̡̢̡̨̧̡̢̢̨̛̫̰̤̮͕̬̳̰͍͍̱̻̘̯͔͍̰̺̳̘̫͙̜̣̘͍̼̰̝͑̍̈́͂̒̄̌͗̓̽̐̈́̋̋̈́͂̏̔͛̌̿̐̔͊̚͝͝͠͝ͅͅI̶̧̡̨̡̨̧̧͖̠̠̙͇͙̮͎̳͎͓͇̬͔̦̻̫̼̰̗̳͇͔̲͖̠̜̳͈̞̰̖̗̻̬͓̖̩̳̔̒͆̔̎̈́̒̈́̋̃̆̇̌̓͑͋̈́̅̑͌͐̀̈́̎̏͆̍̓̑̊̅̂͒͒̈́͑̉̍̑͒̏̆̉̌͘͠͠͠G̵̢̡̛̻̰͉͇̟͓̟̙̻̩̼̼̲͔͎̖̩̝̮̱̲̟͗̓̓̆̔̏̌̆̋̏̈́̽͒̑̾̆͐̉̌̉͒̂͑͑͂̈́̎͗̋̃̔̓͛͌͆̄͂͘͘͜͝͝N̸̢̧̨̢̢̡̛̻̥͍̳̘̘̦̦̦̙̲̼̹̲̬̲͍͓̹͙̺̘̘̺̮̐̋͗̄̎͂̏͗̇̐̓̇̋̉̈́͛̍͑͆̉̆̂̀̏̇͒͑̌̊̒̑̈́̏͛̆̇͑͛̒͋̆̂̀̒̑̿̌̓̽̋̍͆̋̂̾̑̽̍̋͘͘̚̕͜͜͝͝͠͝Ạ̵̡̢̧̧̛̞̝̘̦̪̲̤̻̬̗̖̩̭͕̰̯͕͙̤̜̺̣̜̝̱̬̦͖̣̳̜̲̭̯̖̬͔͕̭̩̼͉̰͉̞͈̥͕̩̭̮̳͒͐͑̉̓̋̊̊̂̿̃̍̂͗̅̓̊̆̆̿̀̂̆̾͂̉̐̋̾͛̈́͛͆̆͗̿̉͐͌̕͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅL̵̨̧͈̘̩͇̱̯̭̜̲̻̰̗̬̺͚̆̈̓͊̓̏̍́͛̀̌̊͜͝͝͝ ̷̨̧̧͈͎͇͍̩͕̲̘̺͔̫̯͖͈̝̖̼̫͇̻͇̪̠͚͔͎̘̟̦̜̭̜̱̗̻͙̬͎̟̯͉̬̥͖̟̥̈̈́͌͆̿̏̇̊̈͐̃̅̓̽͑̆̓̂̽͗̚̕̚͜͝͝ͅͅĻ̷̢̨̡̢̢̪̰̬̳͉̖̟͙̹̟͎͇͉͔̼̭̪̲̼͎̬͇͔̳̼͖̣͖͔͚̻̜̰̯̼̯̮̰̖̣̙̳̮̘͎̮͚͈̻̫̪͚̣̞̻̺͍͍͕͍͉͊̈́͋̃̔̂̿͗͊͛͑͌͒̉̔̎̏̇̿̚͜͜͝͠ͅͅO̵̡̗͙̻̫̱͈̟͉͛̐̂̓̂͆̆͑́͛̒̔̆͛̈̓̅͗̄͛͗͗̏͒͑̎̏̓̈́̓́͂̀̐̅͆̏̉̎̓̔̃̾͒̇͑̿̒̽͘̚̕͘͘͝͠͝Ŝ̷̢̨̧̧̨̩̻̯̤̩̻̜̭͎̠̗̙̮̹̯̙̥̺̯͉͔͔̼͙̗̟̬̙̙̯̗̼̘̯̭̰̲͉̥̰̲͓̝̯͖̙͍̝̩̝̝̗̗̻̰́̂T̴̨̨̡̮̦̯͚͔̱̗͈̻̖̪͍͎̬͈̤̰̱͙̮̩̟̦̗̘̘͎̣̺̯͋̆̑̿̚͜]**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Rishi Moon Outpost]**

**[ACTIVE: BOOMBOY, a fives is speaking, echo(echo)((echo))]**

**a fives is speaking:** hevy

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** talk to us hevy

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** hevy please

 **a fives is speaking:** hevy what are you doing

 **BOOMBOY:** I’m sorry

 **a fives is speaking:** HEVY DON’T

 **[** **_BOOMBOY_ ** **… SIGNAL LOST]**

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Rishi Moon Outpost]**

**[ACTIVE: a fives is speaking, echo(echo)((echo))]**

**a fives is speaking:** Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** 327

 **a fives is speaking:** Nub

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** O’Niner

 **a fives is speaking:** Droidbait

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** Cutup

 **a fives is speaking:** Hevy

 **echo(echo)((echo)):** Goodbye brothers

**{Communications line closed…}**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it got sad


	7. A Torrent of Brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Captain-Commander/hackysacky: Rex  
> bonekintter: Kix  
> Cog/Scaredy Tooka: Jesse  
> casey/mad genius: Hardcase  
> doct-oric: Coric  
> KAN dO attitude: Kano  
> 5/baby: Fives  
> ohce/Baby: Echo  
> Sneaky Sneaky: Blackout  
> Denial: Denal  
> Kohorts: Koho  
> zr: Zeer

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: The Bois in Blue]**

**[ACTIVE: Captain-Commander, boneknitter, Cog, casey, doct-oric]**

**Cog:** the new babies are cute

**Cog:** Insane

**Cog:** but cute

**casey:** lol dare u 2 call em that 2 their faces

**boneknitter:** I’m not putting you back together if Fives shivs you in your sleep

**doct-oric:** Fives isn’t the one he should be worried about

**doct-oric:** Echo’s the one who’s more likely to commit murder

**doct-oric:** Fives would commit manslaughter, but Echo is definitely down for murder

**casey:** sounds fake

**Cog:** Are,,, are we talking about the same Echo??

**Cog:** the one who cried about all our reg violations yesterday????

**doct-oric:** the very same

**doct-oric:** your stupidity is driving him to murder

**[** **_KAN dO attitude_ ** **is Active]**

**KAN dO attitude:** Okay

**KAN dO attitude:** I’m curious

**KAN dO attitude:** What’s the difference?

**Captain-Commander:** Fives is the little shit with the tattoo, Echo’s my favourite

**[** **_5_ ** **is Active]**

**5:** c,,, captain??? D: D: D: D:

**[** **_ohce_ ** **is Active]**

**ohce:** HA

**Captain-Commander:** I mean, have you ever been subjected to Echo’s puppy eyes?

**Captain-Commander:** That shit hurt

**5:** you’re right and you should say it

**5:** echo’s the best

**5:** but it still hurt D:

**ohce:** awww thanks Raysh’ika, I love you too

**5:** ew no

**5:** I take it back

**5:** and also i’m older than u

**5:** by like,,, a lot

**ohce:** are not

**[** **_Captain-Commander_ ** **changed** **_5_ ** **’s handle to** **_baby_ ** **]**

**[** **_Captain-Commander_ ** **changed** **_oche_ ** **’s handle to** **_Baby_ ** **]**

**Captain-Commander:** You’re both baby, get used to it

**Baby:** >:(

**baby:** IM NOT A BABY

**casey:** sounds liek somethng a baby would say

**KAN dO attitude:** You’re both adorable

**KANdO attitude:** but I meant the difference between manslaughter and muder

**Sneaky Sneaky:** manslaughter is accidental killing, murder is intentional

**boneknitter:** sounds legit

**Captain-Commander:** Oh, hi Blackout

**Cog:** HOLY KARK

**Cog:** WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!?!?!?

**S̶n̶e̸a̵k̴y̸ ̶S̶n̸e̶a̴k̵y̷:̸** ̶b̷o̷l̴d̸ ̸o̴f̶ ̶y̵o̴u̴ ̵t̸o̷ ̴a̸s̵s̶u̵m̴e̸ ̸t̵h̵a̵t̶ ̶i̵’̵v̵e̷ ̴n̸e̴v̶e̷r̸ ̶a̷l̵w̷a̴y̶s̵ ̵b̴e̸e̵n̴ ̵h̵e̷r̸e̶

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Medics Outrank All]**

**[ACTIVE: boneknitter, doct-oric]**

**doct-oric:** **_@Captain-Commander_ **

**doct-oric:** **_@Captain-Commander_ ** GET YOUR ASS BACK TO MEDICAL OR ILL SEND KIX AND HIS SAD SIGHS AFTER YOU

**doct-oric:** **_@Captain-Commander_ ** HELL SIGH AT YOU SO HARD YOULL REGRET ALL YOUR LIFE CHOICES

**doct-oric:** **_@Captain-Commander_ ** I WILL SEDATE YOUSO FUCKING HAR YOULL BE SEEING YOUR PAST FUTURE AND PRESENT ALL AT ONCE

**boneknitter:** **_@Captain-Commander_ ** :’( captain please come back you’re not fully recovered :’(

**doct-oric:** **_@Captain-Commander_ ** IF YOU DONT GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE ILL SEND KIX /AND/ ECHO AFTER YOU

**boneknitter:** **_@Captain-Commander_ ** :( :( :( :( :(

**doct-oric:** **_@Captain-Commander_ ** YOU ASKED FOR IT

**doct-oric:** **_@Captain-Commander_ ** I WILL RELEASE THE BABIES

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Medics Outrank All]**

**[ACTIVE: Captain-Commander, doct-oric, boneknitter]**

**Captain-Commander:** I will have you court martialed if you stab me in the ass with another hypospray

**doct-oric:** jokes on you bitch

**doct-oric:** i have immunity

**Captain-Commander:** there’s not immunity to being court martialed

**boneknitter:** sorry Captain, but we have written permission

**doct-oric:** From Commander Cody himself

**Captain-Commander:** that bastard is dead to me

**boneknitter:** also, medics outrank everyone on terms of health

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: The BEST Bois in Blue]**

**[ACTIVE: casey, baby, Baby, Cog]**

**casey:** whts wth rock?

**baby:** you mean Dwayne the Rock Johnson?

**Cog:** you

**Cog:** you named a rock??

**Baby:** why not?

**casey:** tru that lol

**Cog:** *visible confusion*

**Cog:** but why Dwayne the Rock Johnson??????????

**baby:** we named him after the original Dwayne the Rock

**Cog:** THERES TWO OF THEM???

**casey:** AMAZING

**Cog:** WHY JOHNSON??????????

**Baby:** one of our brothers had a moon rock he named Dwayne the Rock

**Baby:** after Rishi Fives found a chunk of moon rock wedged in his armour

**baby:** it fell off in the fresher lol

**Baby:** and thus “Johnson”

**baby:** cause it was in the john

**baby:** geddit?

**casey:** AMAZING

**baby:** do you think if i asked nicely Commander Tano would get me some glue and googly eyes?

**Sneaky Sneaky:** go for it

**Sneaky Sneaky:** be free baby

**Sneaky Sneaky:** chase your weird ass dreams

**Cog:** FHOQGHQEHO

**Cog:** WHAT THE FCUK!?!?!?!?!?!?

**Sneaky Sneaky:** >:)

**baby:** wow! Thanks! :D

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: The BEST Bois in Blue]**

**[ACTIVE: casey, Captain-Commander, Denial, Cog, Kohorts, zr]**

**casey:** And so concludes my essay as to why I, Hardcase, a loyal trooper of Torrent, should be given access to both a jetpack and incendiary devices

**zr:** case

**zr:** case my dude, my brother, light of my life

**zr:** i love you

**zr:** but…

**Denial:** Your argument is literally just “Give me this because I want it”

**casey:** well, yeh

**casey:** isnt that good enough?

**Cog:** I agree with him ^^  


**Kohorts:** you say that because you want to blow shit up too

**Cog:** guilty

**casey:** Cap, cap listen

**casey:** if u had a jetpack

**casey:** the gen and cmmdr wouldnt need to to throw u

**Captain-Commander:** … 

**Captain-Commander:** They make good points

**[ _Sneaky Sneaky_ changed _Captain-Commander_ 's handle to _hackysacky_ ]**

**[ _Sneaky Sneaky_ changed _casey_ 's handle to _mad genius_ ]**

**[ _Sneaky Sneaky_ changed _Cog_ 's handle to _Scaredy Tooka_ ]**

**Scaredy Tooka:** WHRE TH KARK D U KEEP COMINF FFORM?!?!

 **S̴n̶e̴a̵k̴y̶ ̷S̴n̸e̸a̸k̶y̷:̷** ̸y̶o̷u̴'̴l̸l̸ ̴n̵e̸v̷e̷r̸ ̸k̷n̵o̸w̴ ̷;̵)̸


	8. What's with the droid?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> little baby ridge: Ridge  
> baby/bitchy baby: Fives  
> Baby: Echo  
> in denial: Denal  
> Blown A Fuse/whomst?: Blackout  
> The Doctor's In: Coric  
> kixitbetter: Kix  
> jessica: Jesse  
> The Captain: Rex  
> cardhase: Hardcase  
> AT-TI: Attie  
> zr: Zeer  
> (I included Gold Squadron here, and jet goes zoom zoom is the unnamed co-pilot on the Twilight)

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: I'm Blue badabeebadabaa]**

**[ACTIVE: in denial, baby, little baby ridge, Baby]**

**little baby ridge:** im so tired when are reinforcements going to arrive

**baby:** primes balls I actually miss rishi

**baby:** when do we get to rest??

**Baby:** You're already an insomniac

**Baby:** Why are you complaining

**baby:** shut your up

**baby:** for once in my life I actually want to sleep ToT

**little baby ridge:** oh that's a mood

**baby:** i didn't ask you one armed wonder

**little baby ridge:** w,,,what????

**little baby ridge:** ????????

**little baby ridge:** I

**little baby ridge:** i have two arms????

**Baby:** sigh

**[** **_Baby_ ** **changed** **_baby_ ** **'s handle to** **_bitchy baby_ ** **]**

**Baby:** don't mind Fives Ridge, he just gets bitchy when he's tired

**Baby:** he also gets weird, i think there was dust in his tank or smth

**bitchy baby:** fkcu u you half-rate cyborg

**Baby:** example above ^

**in denial:** Force, just go have a nap Fives

**bitchy baby:** can’t am on shift

**in denial:** You do know you’re allowed to trade with someone if you need sleep?

**in denial:** No one gives a shit if you do

**in denial:** we stopped caring after Coric sedated the tenth poor bastard that pulled a triple shift because of bad scheduling

**Baby:** is,,, is bad scheduling really that common?

**Blown A Fuse:** In the 501st?

**Blown A Fuse:** Yeah

**little baby ridge:** w,,, whomst?

**Blown A Fuse:** lmao

**[** **_Blown A Fuse_ ** **changed their handle to** **_whomst?_ ** **]**

**whomst?:** this is so much fun

**whomst?:** ANyways as I was saying

**whomst?:** Yeah, there’s a lot of bad scheduling in the 501st because your highest ranking clone officer is a captain, who, while he may be trying his best, was not in command track and thus not trained for this specifically

**whomst?:** His plans and scheduling get overturned by various natborns who don’t know who’s who and don’t really consider clones as thinking feeling beings

**bitchy baby:** whoop there it is

**[** **_The Doctor’s In_ ** **is Active]**

**The Doctor’s In:** Go have a nap, Fives! Don’t make me hypo your ass!

**[** **_kixitbetter_ ** **is Active]**

**kixitbetter:** medic’s orders Fives, Jesse will cover your shift

**[** **_jessica_ ** **is Active]**

**jessica:** I will?

**kixitbetter:** :’(

**jessica:** I mean

**jessica:** of course I will

  
  


* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: the better boys in gold]**

**[ACTIVE: Gold Leader, Gold 1, G2, Gold Three, G Four, gold five, gold boy number 6]**

**gold boy number 6:** I like this plan!

**G2:** of course you like it vod, it includes tanks

**gold boy number 6:** i want a tank :(

**G Four:** hate to break it to you vod, we’re pilots not heavy gunners

**gold boy number 6:** the captain gets to have all the fun :((

**Gold Leader:** Get your shit together boys and stop gossiping, we’re moving out

**gold five:** yessir

**Gold Three:** Yes sir!

**Gold 1:** oya!

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: I'm Blue badabeebadabaa]**

**[ACTIVE: The Captain]**

**The Captain:** Good news men, the General survived and is fully recovered

**[cardhase is Active]**

**[Baby is Active]**

**[in denial is Active]**

**[AT-TI is Active]**

**AT-TI:** that’s a relief

**in denial:** What about his brain cells? Did they make it out?

**The Captain:** I’m afraid he never had those to begin with

**cardhase:** LMAO

**Baby:** Man, I guess it wasn’t just the General’s ship that got roasted

**AT-TI:** dar to the general

**Baby:** dar

**cardhase:** dar

**in denial:** Dar

**[** **_zr_ ** **is Active]**

**zr:** dar

**[** **_jessica_ ** **is Active]**

**jessica:** Dar

**whomst?:** dar

**jessica:** heafowAFHHQ WHOI?!

**jessica:** FUCKIGHN BASLDL

* * *

  
  


**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: The Squad]**

**[ACTIVE: in denial, The Captain, jet goes zoom zoom]**

**in denial:** that really just happened huh?

**jet goes zoom zoom:** d

**jet goes zoom zoom:** did the general really do what the high general said he did?

**jet goes zoom zoom:** he really put all of us in danger for a droid???

**jet goes zoom zoom:** even commander tano??????????

**The Captain:** The General and R2 work well together and the droid has pulled us through a lot of trouble, he did what he thought was best for the Republic

**in denial:** Is that The Captain speaking or Rex?

**The Captain:** It’s not our place to question the General


	9. Softly, but with a lot of feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> right bac atcha/Do Your Fucking Job: Bacara  
> fil 'er up boys/Forgettable/Fisting: Fil  
> Hammertime/Shitty Hair/Himbo: Thorn  
> The Blond CT: Rex  
> The Other CT: Keeli  
> Never Skip Leg Day/In Baby Jail: Cody  
> space horse/Occasionally Competent: Colt  
> Chaos/Idiot: Havoc  
> Waffle/Feral Shit: Wolffe  
> butterbly/Pining Idiot: Bly  
> A-17/Let The Dadding Begin: Alpha-17  
> you can’t kill me in any way that matters: Fox  
> greased lightning: Gree  
> splish splash: Ponds  
> Got Blitzed?: Blitz

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: LET CHAOS REIGN]**

**[ACTIVE: right bac atcha, fil ‘er up boys, Hammertime, The Blond CT, The Other CT, Never Skip Leg Day, space horse, Chaos, Waffle, butterbly]**

**space horse:** What’s this I hear about _@Never Skip Leg Day_ kicking another clanker in the face?

 **Never Skip Leg Day:** Rex is a filthy snitch

 **space horse:** don’t make me get Alpha, Kot’ika

 **Never Skip Leg Day:** Also, I’m older than you

 **Never Skip Leg Day:** Your weak threats don’t faze me

 **[** **_space horse_ ** **has added** **_A-17_ ** **to** **_COMMLINE: LET CHAOS REIGN_ ** **]**

 **[** **_The Other CT_ ** **changed** **_A-17_ ** **’s handle to** **_Let The Dadding Begin_ ** **]**

 **The Other CT:** hope you have bangcorn lads

 **The Other CT:** this is going to be a show

 **Let The Dadding Begin:** What the Fuck is this mess?

 **butterbly:** Kote broke their leg again!

 **The Blond CT:** Cody roundhouse kicked another assassin droid

 **fil ‘er up:** I mean, the footage was pretty radical

 **right bac atcha:** you mean until their medic hypo’d their sorry ass and their general carried them off the field like a fainting maiden

 **Hammertime:** idk I thought it looked romantic

 **Let The Dadding Begin:** Kote.

 **Never Skip Leg Day:** You’re all dead to me

 **Waffle:** haha little baby not so brave now

 **Chaos:** dar

 **[Let The Dadding Begin has removed Never Skip Leg Day from** **_COMMLINE: LET CHAOS REIGN_ ** **]**

 **Let The Dadding Begin:** He’s grounded

 **butterbly:** oop

 **butterbly:** Kote’s in Baby Jail

 **Let The Dadding Begin:** He can have his rights back when his CMO releases him from the medbay

 **Let The Dadding Begin:** Also, which of you di’kute let Havoc name the chat?

 **Waffle:** Technically anyone can name the chat

 **Let The Dadding Begin:** The Fuck?

 **Let The Dadding Begin:** Roll call soldiers, your handles are giving me a migraine

 **right bac atcha:** Bacara

 **fil ‘er up boys:** Fil

 **The Blond CT:** Rex

 **The Other CT:** Keeli

 **Hammertime:** Thorn!

 **butterbly:** Bly

 **Chaos:** Havoc!

 **space horse:** ...Colt

 **Waffle:** Wolffe

 **[** **_Let The Dadding Begin_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Alpha-17_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Alpha-17_ ** **changed** **_Waffle_ ** **’s handle to** **_Feral Shit_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Alpha-17_ ** **changed** **_space horse_ ** **’s handle to** **_Occasionally Competent_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Alpha-17_ ** **changed** **_Chaos_ ** **’ handle to** **_Idiot_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Alpha-17_ ** **changed** **_butterbly_ ** **’s handle to** **_Pining Idiot_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Alpha-17_ ** **changed** **_Hammertime_ ** **’s handle to** **_Shitty Hair_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Alpha-17_ ** **changed** **_fil ‘er up_ ** **’s handle to** **_Forgettable_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Alpha-17_ ** **changed** **_right bac atcha_ ** **’s handle to** **_Do Your Fucking Job_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Alpha-17_ ** **left** **_COMMLINE_ ** **]**

 **Forgettable:** Wow, rude

 **Pining Idiot:** what a bastard

 **Do Your Fucking Job:** ….

 **[** **_Do Your Fucking Job_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Shitty Hair:** what’s wrong with my hair? D:

 **[** **_you can’t kill me in any way that matters_ ** **is Active]**

 **you can’t kill me in any way that matters:** What isn’t?

 **[** **_you can’t kill me in any way that matters_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **The Blond CT:** There’s nothing wrong with your hair

 **Feral Shit:** It’s better than Gree’s

 **Shitty Hair:** that isn’t as comforting as you think it is D’:

 **Shitty Hair:** Her hair is terrible

 **Feral Shit:** It wasn’t meant to be

 **Occasionally Competent:** Well, that wasn’t as bad as it could have been

 **Idiot:** Says you

 **The Other CT:** idk that was pretty tame for alpha

 **Forgettable:** SAYS YOU

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Petition to let us sleep]**

**[ACTIVE: greased lightning, splish splash, Feral Shit, Himbo]**

**greased lightning:** Okay

 **greased lightning:** Fuck natborns

 **splish splash:** ?????

 **splish splash:** u okay gree??

 **splish splash:** I thought you were on prisoner duty?

 **greased lightning:** yeah

 **greased lightning:** the fucking natborn betrayed us and took off with gunray

 **greased lightning:** fucking shit haired motherfucker

 **Feral Shit:** prime’s tits, AnGree’s been unleashed

 **greased lightning:** “a clONe wOUldN’T unDERstANd!”

 **greased lightning:** fucker betrayed the republic for money

 **Himbo:** Who?

 **greased lightning:** that argyus bastard

 **Himbo:** oh him

 **Himbo:** yeah fuck that bastard

 **Himbo:** **_@you can’t kill me in any way that matters_**

[ **_you can’t kill me in any way that matters_ ** **is Active]**

 **you can’t kill me in any way that matters:** what do you want thorn? I’m working. Which is something you’re supposed to be doing too.

 **Himbo:** read up.

 **you can’t kill me in any way that matters:** oh that bastard

 **you can’t kill me in any way that matters:** Hope he dies

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: LET CHAOS REIGN]**

**[ACTIVE: Forgettable, greased lightning, Got Blitzed?, Pining Idiot, In Baby Jail, The Blond CT]**

**Forgettable:** Since this is a kink shaming free zone

 **In Baby Jail:** It is? Since when?

 **The Blond CT:** That’s news to me

 **[** **_Forgettable_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Fisting_ ** **]**

 **Fisting:** I’d let General Fisto rawr me

[ **_you can’t kill me in any way that matters_ ** **is Active]**

 **you can’t kill me in any way that matters:** Disgusting

 **you can’t kill me in any way that matters:** Revolting

 **you can’t kill me in any way that matters:** I never want to see this again

 **Fisting:** His face?

 **Fisting:** Beautiful

 **Fisting:** His voice?

 **Fisting:** Sexy as all hells

 **Fisting:** His smile?

 **Fisting:** A blessing

 **Fisting:** I'd totally tap that

 **Got Blitzed?:** Simp

 **Got Blitzed?:** Sounds like another one has a hard on for a Jedi

 **The Blond CT:** dar

 **you can’t kill me in any way that matters:** I'm surrounded by heathens

 **you can’t kill me in any way that matters:** you’re going in the drunk tank the moment you’re back on Coruscant

 **Fisting:** Ah shit

 **Fisting:** gtg vode, mission mode activated

* * *

**{̴̢̬̯͔̄̈́̆̓̔̃̏̃͌̇̇̒͗̉̈́͋̍̕ͅS̶̛̮̣̥͈̜͙̦̳͔͕͈̲̈́̔ȩ̵̳͔͇̘̤̭̣͉̹̹̺̝͋͆̐̐̎͒̕a̶̢̢̢̩͍̠̜̳̻̙̖̺͖̻̣͙̗̹͑ŗ̷͇̲̳̗̰͉̥̳͉͎͕̰̪̊̅̈́͗͐̕͜͜c̵̺̣̩̥͕̖̒̑̃̃̈́͌̏̒̈̇́͗͘͠h̷̡̢̭̭̫̯̲̘̼͎̟͓̣̞̿̊͘i̴̞͙̱̭͙̯̙͎̜̟̖̘͖̻̮̯̤͓̤͉͑̎̐̔̉̒͒̀͌͌̔͊̈́̌͝͠͝ͅn̴̛͔̲͓͖͎͕͓̗̺͉̉̅͌̽̈̎̾͗̂̓̾̽̋͆̽̈́̄̑̕g̴̼̭͎̱̩̺̮̥̗̰̝̝̦̠̭͉̪̯͍̔͛̕͠ ̵̨͖̰̬̥̬̪̞̙̗̩̳̲̖̗̝̺̥̙̳̇̓͊̔͘f̴̡̡̛̛̛̦͉̬̺̦̝͙̗̝͓̠́͗͛̌̈̏͗̀̚͘ͅȯ̷̟̗͎͍͉̖͈̹̠̓̓̽̋͜ͅŗ̴̡̬͖̬͖͑̄̆͝ ̶͓͈̭̫͙͔͙̬̲͇̅̃̉̋͘͜͝s̵̟̥̭̣͇̓̀̾͋̄̂̃͊͘̚͜͝i̷͙̣͎̱̤͔̘̲̙͓̘̯̪̟̪̫͚͗̉́͛͑̏̇͒̂̐̈́̓̕͝͠ģ̸̺̞͔̱̯̮̭͕̳̥͔͍̗͉̫̥͌ͅn̵͓͈̤̖̲̊͐͜͝a̶̜̩̻̬̪̣̞̗͙̫̖̝͓̾̅͌̎̈̕͝l̷̨̤̪̞̦͓̳̊͛̈́̊͗̆͌̒̓̓̓̑̍̌͊͗̽̍̕͝s̵̹̝͖̺̩̞̟̮̠̭̭̣̺͛̏}̵͇̦͓̝̣̱͌̐̿͝͝**

**{̶̨̤̟̱͈̘̜̽̊̍̊̈́͜ͅE̴̦͉͖͚͇̭̓̈́̚ṡ̵͕͈̣͔̲t̴̨̟̼̫̙̰̒̓a̶̧͈͈̫͑͐̃̉̂̐̾͠b̷̧̛͉̘̰̣̙͌́̌̿̕͝l̶͍̰͙̩̹͎͊̿͆́̈́͝į̶̟̠͇̩̰̄͑̇͑͝͝ŝ̴̥̯̺̻͙͙͈̈ḩ̴̛̝̱͎̠͓͋̏͑̋̔͐̕͜ͅị̴̡̬̹̆̎̐n̶͚̬͍̋ͅg̷̫̤̊ ̶̛̛̥̩̭̮̤̞͖̥͌̏̽͆͜l̴̨̡̅̍̕į̴̜͖̼͎̫͆n̶͙̫͓̐̌͛̌̈̂̍k̵̯͓̮̬̇ͅ.̶͙̙͛̒̀̍.̸̫͖̦̘͒́͘.̷̟̩͇̐̐̈́͐͠}̷̤͗͆̂̈́̓̆͗̆**

**[ _Fisting_... S̶̡̢̡̨̧̡̢̢̨̛̫̰̤̮͕̬̳̰͍͍̱̻̘̯͔͍̰̺̳̘̫͙̜̣̘͍̼̰̝͑̍̈́͂̒̄̌͗̓̽̐̈́̋̋̈́͂̏̔͛̌̿̐̔͊̚͝͝͠͝ͅͅI̶̧̡̨̡̨̧̧͖̠̠̙͇͙̮͎̳͎͓͇̬͔̦̻̫̼̰̗̳͇͔̲͖̠̜̳͈̞̰̖̗̻̬͓̖̩̳̔̒͆̔̎̈́̒̈́̋̃̆̇̌̓͑͋̈́̅̑͌͐̀̈́̎̏͆̍̓̑̊̅̂͒͒̈́͑̉̍̑͒̏̆̉̌͘͠͠͠G̵̢̡̛̻̰͉͇̟͓̟̙̻̩̼̼̲͔͎̖̩̝̮̱̲̟͗̓̓̆̔̏̌̆̋̏̈́̽͒̑̾̆͐̉̌̉͒̂͑͑͂̈́̎͗̋̃̔̓͛͌͆̄͂͘͘͜͝͝N̸̢̧̨̢̢̡̛̻̥͍̳̘̘̦̦̦̙̲̼̹̲̬̲͍͓̹͙̺̘̘̺̮̐̋͗̄̎͂̏͗̇̐̓̇̋̉̈́͛̍͑͆̉̆̂̀̏̇͒͑̌̊̒̑̈́̏͛̆̇͑͛̒͋̆̂̀̒̑̿̌̓̽̋̍͆̋̂̾̑̽̍̋͘͘̚̕͜͜͝͝͠͝Ạ̵̡̢̧̧̛̞̝̘̦̪̲̤̻̬̗̖̩̭͕̰̯͕͙̤̜̺̣̜̝̱̬̦͖̣̳̜̲̭̯̖̬͔͕̭̩̼͉̰͉̞͈̥͕̩̭̮̳͒͐͑̉̓̋̊̊̂̿̃̍̂͗̅̓̊̆̆̿̀̂̆̾͂̉̐̋̾͛̈́͛͆̆͗̿̉͐͌̕͝͝͠͝ͅͅͅL̵̨̧͈̘̩͇̱̯̭̜̲̻̰̗̬̺͚̆̈̓͊̓̏̍́͛̀̌̊͜͝͝͝ ̷̨̧̧͈͎͇͍̩͕̲̘̺͔̫̯͖͈̝̖̼̫͇̻͇̪̠͚͔͎̘̟̦̜̭̜̱̗̻͙̬͎̟̯͉̬̥͖̟̥̈̈́͌͆̿̏̇̊̈͐̃̅̓̽͑̆̓̂̽͗̚̕̚͜͝͝ͅͅĻ̷̢̨̡̢̢̪̰̬̳͉̖̟͙̹̟͎͇͉͔̼̭̪̲̼͎̬͇͔̳̼͖̣͖͔͚̻̜̰̯̼̯̮̰̖̣̙̳̮̘͎̮͚͈̻̫̪͚̣̞̻̺͍͍͕͍͉͊̈́͋̃̔̂̿͗͊͛͑͌͒̉̔̎̏̇̿̚͜͜͝͠ͅͅO̵̡̗͙̻̫̱͈̟͉͛̐̂̓̂͆̆͑́͛̒̔̆͛̈̓̅͗̄͛͗͗̏͒͑̎̏̓̈́̓́͂̀̐̅͆̏̉̎̓̔̃̾͒̇͑̿̒̽͘̚̕͘͘͝͠͝Ŝ̷̢̨̧̧̨̩̻̯̤̩̻̜̭͎̠̗̙̮̹̯̙̥̺̯͉͔͔̼͙̗̟̬̙̙̯̗̼̘̯̭̰̲͉̥̰̲͓̝̯͖̙͍̝̩̝̝̗̗̻̰́̂T̴̨̨̡̮̦̯͚͔̱̗͈̻̖̪͍͎̬͈̤̰̱͙̮̩̟̦̗̘̘͎̣̺̯͋̆̑̿̚͜]**


	10. Simping 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Jail Escapee/Orangest: Cody  
> Outfoxed/No./The Actual Red One: Fox  
> The Other CT/Red-ish: Keeli  
> Feral Bastard Boy/Grey Guy: Wolffe  
> The Yellow One: Bly  
> BlueBoy/It's Really Kriffing Cold: Rex  
> Greenbean/Nerd: Gree  
> The Red One: Stone  
> The Other Red One: Thire  
> The Reddest: Thorn

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Mission Reports For Dummies]**

**[ACTIVE: Baby Jail Escapee, Outfoxed, The Other CT, Feral Bastard Boy]**

**Baby Jail Escapee:** and that is how my General, in all his infinite wisdom and skills, lost his lightsaber, almost got eaten by a giant bird, and is now revered as some sort of god by a pre-space travel civilization in Wild Space.

 **Outfoxed:** what the fuck

 **[** **_The Yellow One_ ** **is Active]**

 **[** **_BlueBoy_ ** **is Active]**

 **Feral Bastard Boy:** Welcome back you two

 **Feral Bastard Boy:** how was your most recent crash landing?

 **The Yellow One:** A KRIFFING NIGHTMARE

 **The Yellow One:** I ALMOST GOT CRUSHED BY A GIANT FALLING NUT

 **BlueBoy:** Well, my general almost died

 **BlueBoy:** I almost got eaten by a cat-bird-thing

 **The Yellow One:** MY MEN GOT EATEN BY THOSE FUCKING THINGS

 **BlueBoy:** Thousands died

 **BlueBoy:** The Seps had a weapon that would destroy all organic life

 **BlueBoy:** So just another Zhellday

 **The Yellow One:** FOR YOU AND YOUR DISASTER GENERAL MAYBE

 **The Other CT:** well,

 **The Other CT:** sounds like,,, something at least?

 **BlueBoy:** Oh

 **BlueBoy:** that reminds me

 **[** **_BlueBoy_ ** **uploaded a capture]**

 **[** **_VD_ ** **:** There’s a yelp and the video perspective turns around. Bly hits the ground and rolls, for a moment it looks like he’s done for as fire races towards him before a blue figure swings down and catches him. It’s General Aayla Secura, and the Twi’Lek Jedi is holding both herself and her Commander up by one arm as she swings them by a vine. **]**

 **BlueBoy:** Bly almost died because Mister Clumsy over here tripped over a stick

 **The Yellow One:** oh kriff right off

 **The Yellow One:** what happened to the excited little Rex’ika that kept calling me “Commander” and trying to show off

 **The Other CT:** well, at least you got to be carried off in General Secura’s muscular arms

 **Baby Jail Escapee:** shut up

 **The Yellow One:** force those muscles

 **[** **_Outfoxed_ ** **changed their handle to** **_No._ ** **]**

 **[** **_No._ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Baby Jail Escapee:** You’re just going to set him off

 **Baby Jail Escapee:** there he goes...

 **The Yellow One:** and that core strength? Primes tits she could snap me in half and I’d thank her

 **Baby Jail Escapee:** ugh disgusting

 **Feral Bastard Boy:** says the simp that was complaining about his general’s soft hair yesterday

 **Baby Jail Escapee:** SHUT UP

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Mission Reports For Dummies]**

**[ACTIVE: BlueBoy, Orangest, Grey Guy, Red-ish, The Yellow One]**

**[** **_BlueBoy_ ** **changed their handle to** **_It’s Really Kriffing Cold_ ** **]**

**It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** New least favourite planet

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** It’s cold, this natborn chairman is an asshole, it’s always snowing, I’m wet and cold

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** The entire battalion stationed here has been slaughtered

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** This goddamn chairman wants to start another kriffing war

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** this bastard is everything that’s wrong with natborns

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** this senator?

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** She’s a complete baby, is she even old enough to be in the senate?

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** fuck how does natborn aging work???

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** she’s barely taller than commander tano

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** I just want to bundle her up and keep her away from this mess, and the chairman looks seconds away from hitting her

 **Grey Guy:** Looks like those Mando genes are coming in full strength

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** Well, fuck.

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** Looks like it's war then

 **[** **_It’s Really Kriffing Cold_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Red-ish:** ruh roh

 **The Yellow One:** how is it that rex always seems to get the worst deployments??

 **Orangest:** We are frontline combat troops

 **Orangest:** Once he’s done there we get to go back to Christophsis

 **Grey Guy:** Again???!!?

 **Grey Guy:** What, do they get attacked every other tuangsday or something????

 **Orangest:** Feels like it

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Mission Reports For Dummies]**

**[ACTIVE: Greenbean, The Actual Red One, The Red One, The Other Red One, The Reddest, It’s Really Kriffing Cold]**

**It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** In the words of one of my men: “oh my gods he fuckin dead”

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** Chairman Bastard got himself shanked

 **The Reddest:** A Tragedy

 **The Other Red One:** Oh No, How Terrible

 **The Red One:** If you can’t tell, we’re being sarcastic

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** yeah, I could tell.

 **Greenbean:** OKAY

 **Greenbean:** But what were the Talz like??

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** big, furry, dangerous

 **It’s Really Kriffing Cold:** Wookies, Cold Edition

 **Greenbean:** but what about their culture? Their language?

 **[** **_The Red One_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Greenbean:** what kinds of foods do they eat? Do they hunt? Are they hunter-gatherers?

 **[** **_The Other Red One_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Greenbean:** How do they interact with their ecology?

 **[** **_The Reddest_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Greenbean:** Their government? Religion? Social Structure? Do they have an economy?

 **[** **_The Actual Red One_ ** **changed** **_Greenbean_ ** **’s handle to** **_Nerd_ ** **]**

 **[** **_The Actual Red One_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Nerd:** Do they have writing? Art?

 **[** **_It’s Really Kriffing Cold_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Nerd:** :(

 **Nerd:** Rude


	11. Croissant Lads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iwannahitsomeonewitharock/CC-5869: Stone  
> Sarge: Unidentified Clone Sergeant  
> GunsNRoses/CC-2030: Thorn  
> Doge!: Hound  
> Sneaky Sneaky: Blackout  
> thired dad/CC-4477: Thire  
> Jekmate: Jek  
> m(RYS)tery: Rys  
> The ACTUAL Chancellor/CC-1010: Fox  
> (sassy, gottadance, and toastguy are all unnamed background clones, cookies if you recognize them!)  
> CT-7567: Rex

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: This Is Hell]**

**[ACTIVE: GunsNRoses, Sarge, iwannahitsomeonewitharock, Doge!]**

**iwannahitsomeonewitharock:** don’t you ever look at one (1) man and feel sorry

**Sarge:** are we talking about Fox?

**iwannahitsomeonewitharock:** poor guy looks like he’s dead

**GunsNRoses:** I’m pretty sure Fox survives on caf and spite

**iwannahitsomeonewitharock:** you think he’s actually awake?

**iwannahitsomeonewitharock:** i think he’s mentally checked out

**[** **_iwannahitsomeonewitharock_ ** **uploaded a capture]**

**[** ** _ID:_** Chancellor Palpatine stands next to Mas Amedda, both men are deep in conversation with Senator Burtoni. Behind them, completely still, is the identifiable armour belonging to Commander Fox - he’s standing at attention, blaster in hand, and his helmet hides his expression. **]**

**Sneaky Sneaky:** dar to Fox

**Sneaky Sneaky:** Palpy smells like old man and moldy flimsi

**Sneaky Sneaky:** def don’t trust him

**GunsNRoses:** Blackout!! :D

**Sneaky Sneaky:** Thorn!!! :D

**Doge!:** ?????????

**iwannahitsomeonewitharock:** they’re batchmates

**Sarge:** Ah

**Sarge:** should I ask where he keeps coming from? according to Kano he’s bullying one of the Torrent kids

**iwannahitsomeonewitharock:** he’s spec ops

**iwannahitsomeonewitharock:** you never wanna know where he’s coming from

**Sneaky Sneaky:** ;)

**Sneaky Sneaky:** ah yes

**Sneaky Sneaky:** Jesse

**Sneaky Sneaky:** Funny guy

**GunsNRoses:** Bo, Bo pls stop bullying the babies, we’ve talked about this

**Sneaky Sneaky:** doesn’t mean i listened

**GunsNRoses:** D:

**[** **_Sneaky Sneaky_ ** **changed COMMLINE handle to** **_Croissant Lads_ ** **]**

**GunsNRoses:** Blackout! >:(

**Doge!:** ooooo someones in trouble

**Sneaky Sneaky:** Ily

**GunsNRoses:** …

**GunsNRoses:** ily2

**Sarge:** annnnndddd he folded

**iwannahitsomeonewitharock:** like wet flimsi

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Croissant Lads]**

**[ACTIVE: thired dad, Jekmate, m(RYS)tery]**

**thired dad:** are we allowed to mutiny yet?

**thired dad:** I’m about ready to punt some senators into fucking atmo

**m(RYS)tery:** please sir

**m(RYS)tery:** stop advocating for treason, i like being alive

**Jekmate:** coward

**Jekmate:** ignore them sir, please overthrow the government

**Jekmate:** let’s officially make  **_@The ACTUAL Chancellor_ ** the supreme chancellor

**m(RYS)tery:** bad idea

**thired dad:** good idea!

**m(RYS)tery:** no

**Jekmate:** yes

**thired dad:** Fox for Chancellor 7955!

**[** **_The ACUTAL Chancellor_ ** **is Active]**

**The ACTUAL Chancellor:** No.

**[** **_The ACUTAL Chancellor_ ** **is Inactive]**

**[** **_iwannahitsomeonewitharock_ ** **is Active]**

**iwannahitsomeonewitharock:** i’m behind this movement

**iwannahitsomeonewitharock:** he’s already doing all the paperwork for it anyway

**thired dad:** fuck Palpatine

**iwannahitsomeonewitharock:** FUCK PALPATINE

**Jekmate:** FUCK PALPATINE!!!!

**m(RYS)tery:** little gods i hope this chat isn’t monitored

**m(RYS)tery:** but yeah

**m(RYS)tery:** Palpatine get fucking dead challenge 7955

**Sneaky Sneaky:** that could be arranged

**Jekmate:** PRIMES TITS I JUST SCREMAED

**Jekmate:** where the hell do you keep coming from?

**Sneaky Sneaky:** >B) you’ll never know

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Croissant Lads]**

**[ACTIVE: sassy, toastguy, gottadance]**

**sassy:** just saw skywalker enter the building

**sassy:** who wants to bet that he’s here for sen. amidala

**gottadance:** that’s an idiots bet

**gottadance:** we all know theyre doing the dirty

**toastguy:** Who doesn’t

**sassy:** probably binks

**toastguy:** please never mention that thing to me ever again

**toastguy:** i’m pretty sure he’s like the evil mastermind behind the whole war

**sassy:** pls the chancellor is more likely to be the mastermind than binks, and im pretty sure that old fossil couldnt wipe his own ass if cmdr fox wasn’t there to do it for him

**gottadance:** how dare u make me think that thought

* * *

**[Private COMMLINE opened…]**

**[ACTIVE: CC-1010, CT-7567]**

**CC-1010:** Please come get your idiot, he’s messing up my job

**CT-7567:** ????

**CT-7567:** i’m with fives

**CC-1010:** The Other one

**CT-7567:** echo’s here too

**CT-7567:** and I know for sure that kix is keeping jesse and hardcase under control because he submitted an incident report on them “accidentally” getting sedated

**CC-1010:** Stars how many idiots do you have?

**CT-7567:** too many unfortunately

**CC-1010:** I’m talking about Skywalker

**CT-7567:** kark

**CT-7567:** he said he was going on a meditative retreat!

**CC-1010:** If by “meditative retreat” he meant “‘secret’ romantic rendezvous with Senator Amidala” than he wasn’t lying

**CC-1010:** He was just held hostage in the Senate building with a number of Senator

**CT-7567:** prime damnit

**CT-7567:** i’m on my way

**CT-7567:** please don’t tell cody

**CC-1010:** Bold of you to assume that he doesn’t already know

**CC-1010:** Stop losing your Jedi, I don’t want him

**[Private COMMLINE closed…]**

* * *

**[PRIORITY COMMAND]**

**[SENDER: CC-1010]**

**_Priority Command_ \- CC-1010: ** Attention all troopers, effective immediately stop allowing Jedi Master Quinlan Vos into the building.

**_Priority Response_ ** **\- CC-5869:** aw come on commander, i think it’s cute

**_Priority Response_ ** **\- CC-2030:** He is really helping close our cases

**_Priority Response_ ** **\- CC-1010:** I don’t care

**_Priority Response_ ** **\- CC-1010:** I don’t want to find him in my office ever again

**_Priority Response_ ** **\- CC-4477:** It’s like an overgrown Tooka bringing it’s family a freshly caught porg

**[** **_CC-1010_ ** **has Blocked** **_CC-4477_ ** **]**

**_Priority Response_ ** **\- CC-2030:** I can’t believe Fox killed Thire

**_Priority Response_ ** **\- CC-5869:** dar


	12. Everyone Loves Wool'ika

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cody/Feral Bastard Baby: Cody  
> Waxing Poetics/Wooley's Buir/Dynamic Duo 1: Waxer  
> Grump/Unobservant!/Dynamic Duo 2: Boil  
> CT-21-3129/Wool'ika/Waxer's Baby/Baby Menace/✿Future ARC Trooper✿: Wooley  
> The Other Blond One: Crys  
> leaf: Cale  
> pondreed: Reed  
> herbx: Barlex  
> Captain Fordo/Captain Fopdoodle: Fordo  
> woody: Threepwood  
> Mister Greg: Gregor  
> Odd: Oddball  
> got trapped in the vents again: Trapper  
> Steccy: Stec

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm reordering the chapters chronologically, so you'll need to keep an eye on the chapter names for new ones  
> Chapter 8-10 are new!

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Ghosting]**

**[ACTIVE: Cody, Waxing Poetics, Grump, CT-21-3129]**

**[** **_Cody_ ** **changed** **_CT-21-3129_ ** **’s handle to** **_Wool’ika_ ** **]**

 **Wool’ika:** Hi! I’m Wooley! She/her please! (｡･ω･｡)

 **Cody:** Waxer, Boil, this is Wooley, our newest shiny. She’s shown exemplary skills in scouting, and I’ve had her funneled directly into Ghost Company. 

**Grump:** ????????

 **Cody:** I know I don’t usually bring shinies right into Ghost without having them cycle through the smaller Companies first, but she has potential.

 **Cody:** Ryloth is going to be her first live mission, so if she’s not with me, I want her with either of you

 **Wool’ika:** I’ll be fine, Commander! (ง •ૅ౪•᷄)ว

 **Waxing Poetics:** Wooley…

 **Waxing Poetics:** You’re the fluffy one, right?

 **Wool’ika:** I’m a little sad that that’s how you remember me Lieutenant!

 **Waxing Poetics:** Well, it’s a little hard to miss all that hair

 **Waxing Poetics:** How did you manage to get it so long if you’re fresh from Kamino?

 **Wool’ika:** I won a hair growth serum from Cale!

 **Wool’ika:** I’m going after Crys for his bleach next! (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

 **Waxing Poetics:** I like you already kid

 **Waxing Poetics:** I love her Commander, thank you for this blessing

 **Wool’ika:** (⸝⸝⸝◕ั ௰ ◕ั⸝⸝⸝ )

 **[** **_Waxing Poetics_ ** **changed** **_Wool’ika_ ** **’s handle to** **_Waxer’s Baby_ ** **]**

 **[** **_Waxing Poetics_ ** **changed their handle to** **_Wooley’s Buir_ ** **]**

 **Grump:** looks like she got to skip the ShinyBaby stage

 **Grump:** You giving her special treatment Commander?

 **Waxer’s Baby:** Of course not! (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

 **Cody:** She’s ShinyBaby29 on the main comm

 **Grump:** …

 **Grump:** I probably should’ve guessed that from the faces

 **[** **_Waxing Poetics_ ** **changed** **_Grump_ ** **’s handle to** **_Unobservant!_ ** **]**

 **Unobservant!:** I fucking hate you

 **Wooley’s Buir:** No you don’t!!

 **Wooley’s Buir:** And watch your language around our new daughter!

 **Waxer’s Baby:** Yeah! <(｀^´)> Watch your fucking language!

 **Wooley’s Buir:** BOIL!

 **Unobservant!:** She did that on purpose!

 **Waxer’s Baby:** （｀Δ´）！

 **Waxer’s Baby:** I would never!

 **Cody:** Boil

 **Cody:** Watch your fucking language

 **Unobservant!:** DFHEOHWRHLVHEDFEHIWHIP

 **[** ** _Unobservant!_ ** **is Inactive]**

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Ghosting (you in particular)]**

**[ACTIVE: The Other Blond One, leaf, pondreed, herbx, Waxer’s Baby]**

**The Other Blond One:** **_@Cody_ **sir, please come collect your baby, she’s a menace!

 **Waxer’s Baby:** liar!

 **Waxer’s Baby:** I’m a delight! (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

 **leaf:** you’re bloody adorable

 **leaf:** but you’re also a kriffing card shark

 **Waxer’s Baby:** (◡‿◡✿)

 **herbx:** You literally just left Kamino a few rotations ago

 **herbx:** How the kark did you learn to play sabbac?!?!

 **[** **_pondreed_ ** **changed** **_Waxer’s Baby_ ** **’s handle to** **_Baby Menace_ ** **]**

 **Baby Menace:** meanie ٩(๑`^´๑)۶

 **[** ** _Cody_ ** **is Active]**

 **Cody:** You should know better than to bet things you don’t want to lose

 **[** ** _Cody_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **The Other Blond One:** Fordo’s right!

 **The Other Blond One:** You’re a bastard!

 **[** ** _Captain Fordo_ ** **is Active]**

 **Captain Fordo:** You’re only just realizing that?

 **[** **_Captain Fordo_ ** **changed** **_Cody_ ** **’s handle to** **_Feral Bastard Baby_ ** **]**

 **Baby Menace:** (❁°͈▵°͈)

 **pondreed:** o,,oh my,,, stars

 **pondreed:** you’re my new hero sir

 **[** ** _Feral Bastard Baby_ ** **is Active]**

 **Baby Menace:** Σ(‘◉⌓◉’)

 **Feral Bastard Baby:** We’re not on Kamino anymore, you’re not allowed to bully me anymore

 **Captain Fordo:** Says who?

 **Feral Bastard Baby:** The General

 **Captain Fordo:** Only on missions, and if you hadn’t noticed we’re not on a mission

 **Captain Fordo:** Plus, I have ori’vod privileges

 **[** **_Feral Bastard Baby_ ** **changed** **_Captain Fordo_ ** **’s handle to** **_Captain Fopdoodle_ ** **]**

 **Feral Bastard Baby:** Meet me in the pit you half-rate fopdoodle

 **[** ** _Feral Bastard Baby_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **[** ** _Captain Fopdoodle_ ** **is Inactive]**

 **Baby Menace:** uh oh! ･(•́⍛•̀; ≡ •́⍛•̀;)

 **leaf:** OH MY GOD

 **leaf:** **_@everyone_ **

**leaf:** the commander and captain fordo are throwing hands!

 **herbx:** WE’RE IN FOR A TREAT!

* * *

**{Communications line opened…}**

**[COMMLINE: Ghosting (you in particular)]**

**[ACTIVE: woody, Mister Greg, Odd, got trapped in the vents again, Dynamic Duo 1, Dynamic Duo 2, Baby Menace, Steccy]**

**woody:** THAT WAS AMAZING

 **Dynamic Duo 2:** GLORIOUS!

 **Dynamic Duo 1:** won myself some favours off of Rocket

 **got trapped in the vents again:** how much pestering dyou think itll take to get them to go at it again????

 **Odd:** FORDO GOT FUKMING YOTE

 **woody:** I KNOW IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!

 **Baby Menace:** do you think I could do that when I grow up????????? ヾ(０∀０*★)ﾟ*･.｡

 **Steccy:** im sure you could vod’ika!

 **Steccy:** eat all your mash and train hard and im sure you could make arc!

 **Baby Menace:** I will!! ヾ(๑ㆁᗜㆁ๑)ﾉ”

 **Steccy:** its tough, but rewarding!

 **Baby Menace:** ٩(๑òωó๑)۶

 **Mister Greg:** its not the same, but i could give you a couple commando exercises if you’re dead set on arc kid

 **Baby Menace:** ۹(ÒہÓ)۶ YIS!!!

 **Baby Menace:** THNK U ORI’VOD!!!

 **[** **_Steccy_ ** **changed** **_Baby Menace_ ** **’s handle to** **_✿Future ARC Trooper✿_ ** **]**

 **✿Future ARC Trooper✿:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ｡;+*(★`∪´☆)*+;｡

 **Dynamic Duo 1:** I’m sure the Commander would be happy to give you pointers too

 **Dynamic Duo 1:** You’ll make a great ARC

 **✿Future ARC Trooper✿:** GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **✿Future ARC Trooper✿:** you think so? (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

 **Dynamic Duo 1:** I know so!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [They should not let us have group chats.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25049353) by [One_Real_Imonkey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/One_Real_Imonkey/pseuds/One_Real_Imonkey)




End file.
